Sinner

Hoseok

    My pulse races in my throat as I take in Yoongi's blank expression. He doesn't say a word after catching me ravishing and very much fucking Jimin.
     For a terrifying split second, he looks like he's going to lunge for us but...he stops and walks out of the room instead.
     Jimin is sobbing and shuddering in fear at this point as he watches Yoongi leave. He climbs out of bed and attempts to half dress himself as he runs after his boyfriend. I sit paralyzed and try to think of what to do or say. There's literally nothing I can. We both know we're in the wrong right now.
      Jimin screams from the other room, making me bolt off the bed. I grab my pants and slip them on while running to see the commotion.
      Jimin has his arms locked around Yoongi as he obviously tries to shove him off. Still not speaking. Not even looking at us.
     For the first time, I notice his own clothes...bloodstained. My eyes raise to look into his dark eyes and for a second I see appa staring back at me. I shiver from the cold look he gives me but then it's gone and he looks away. 
      "Get off me, Jimin." His voice is calm and quiet. The complete opposite as what we expect.
      Jimin, on the other hand, only cries harder and louder. "No! I'm s-sorry, Okay! I was mad at you for h-hurting me and made a mistake! Please don't leave me! I'll let y-you beat me! You can hit me, okay? Just don't leave me!" He's practically in hysterics.
      I've never seen him this way before. Either of them. It's a shocking scene to witness.
     "R-remember when we first met and you lashed me? You c-can do it again!" He screams, desperation clear in his voice.
      My brow furrows. Yoongi lashed him? At camp? That's when they first met. What the fuck...how come he never told me any of this shit? We were still dating at that time!
      "I'm not mad." Comes a soft whisper from Yoongi.
      Jimin and I both stare at him in shock. "W-what?" I choke out.
      A scarily serene expression crosses his face and he smiles. Casually and gently removing himself from Jimin's grasp, he turns around to face us. Dark bags heavy under his eyes, he looks terrible. Beat down. Depressed. A tear escapes my eye as he kisses Jimin on the head.
     "I have to g-go back to work. I was coming home to apologize, Jimin. I've been treating you so badly lately but I can't seem to stop myself. You deserve so much better. Maybe this is a wake up call, love. Maybe you should have never broke up with Hoseok for me. I will support your relationship, okay." His voice is hoarse with emotion and sadness as he grabs his bag and simply walks out without another word.
      I stare after him as Jimin collapses onto his knees, his entire body shaking from his sobs. He screams and claws at his body as anguish overtakes him. I have no idea how to comfort him.
     I really just lost Jimin his relationship that he's worked so hard for. I should have never left Jin hyung's house, I guess. I just seem to fuck up everything no matter where I go.
      My own tears surfacing, I run to Jimin and pick him up off the floor. He hits at me, struggling, unable to breathe from his hysterics. I scoop him up and carry him to his and Yoongi's bed, tucking him in and placing Yoongi's pillow into his arms. He breathes it in and calms a little.
      Hating myself, I slip Jimin some sleeping pills to calm him and kiss his forehead before grabbing my things and leaving. I don't want to mess shit up anymore. I just want to fucking live a life but I ruin everything.
     I leave their house key inside and lock up, praying they can work things out when I'm not in the way. I know Jimin won't want to see me when he wakes. He'll only want his Yoongi.
      Groaning as fresh cold rain begins to fall, I tuck myself deeper into my hoodie as begin walking. I have no plans or destinations on where to go. I simply just need to go.

     I arrive at Namjoon's after some hesitation, calling Taehyung first and asking if I can stay for a little while. I walk around back, away from the party always going on and knock.
     Jungkook opens the door with a sad smile and hugs me. I explained what happened and he's concerned about his brother.
      Even though they aren't close, he still cares about Jimin. He shows me to a private bedroom with a built in bathroom and gives me some fresh clothes to change into after a hot shower. Feeling slightly less pathetic and dry, I decide to be civil and say hello to Namjoon.
     He never holds grudges. He thinks it's funny to rattle everyone up. I keep to myself around all the drugged out clientele he keeps around, pausing at a guy standing in the shadows, obviously making a deal.
     Frowning, I move closer and freeze. Yoongi. This is what he does? He's a fucking drug dealer for Namjoon? Holy fuck! This is bad, very bad.
     A few people stumble in front of me and I lose sight of him. I search frantically for his figure, finally spotting him heading upstairs. I run after him, calling his name but knowing he can't hear me over the loud music.
     He slips into Namjoon's room and closes the door. I stomp right to it and bang on it, screaming for Yoongi or Namjoon to open up.
     A smirking Namjoon appears, obviously fucked out of his mind. His eyes lazily trail over me with sexual lust and I scowl, feeling disgust and bile rise in my throat. "Where the fuck is Yoongi?" I demand, shoving past him to see Yoongi writhing on the floor.
     "You mean my little slut dealer? This is your hyung! Ha! I thought getting that Jin guy was a good shot at you but I've up played myself." He cackles.
      Anger consumes me and punch him in the face. Running over to Yoongi I see an empty pill bag beside him and foam beginning to run out the corner of his mouth. An overdose.
     Hesitantly lifting up his limp body, I try to carry him out but Namjoon stops me with a punch in the stomach. "He knew what he was doing! He wanted those pills. I was nice enough to let him have them for free, too! And what do I get? A fucking punch? Fuck you, Hoseok!" He growls and hits me in the face again and again, shoving me up against the wall and attacking me full force.
     My body screams in agony as I fight him back as best I can. Fear for my hyung giving me the strength to fight him off and he ends up unconscious on the floor. Grabbing my phone, I make the call I don't want to but know I need.
     I call Jin.
     I explain everything. Leaving nothing out and he doesn't judge, just hangs up and says he's on his way. I manage to have Taehyung and Jungkook help me get Yoongi out to Jin's car.
     We rush him to the hospital, all four of us waiting anxiously in the waiting room. Please be okay. God, please don't die and leave Jimin. It would kill him...
     My eyes snap open when a hand slips into mine, squeezing reassuringly. I glance over to see Jin staring straight ahead, my hand firmly held in his.
     Slowly, his eyes meet mine and he swallows hard. It feels like time stands still as he slowly leans over and rests his head on mine. Exhaling slowly, I allow myself to cling to him, feeling familiar comfort in his arms. My mind goes back to how it was when I first met him and how he made me feel.
     It hasn't changed, honestly. I still feel the exact same way about him. Warm and awed. I feel so much younger right now.
      "Are you going to call Jimin?" He asks quietly, his fingers threading through my hair soothingly.
      I glance over at Jungkook and Taehyung who sit holding hands, quietly talking amongst themselves. Obvious affection in all their movements. Why can't Yoongi or I ever have anything like they have. Why is our lives always shit.
      "Hoseok..." Jin sighs.
      Frowning, I glance up at him.
     He cups my face in his hands. "Please move back in with me. I'm really sorry for everything that happened between us. I want to talk about us."
      "I thought there wasn't an 'us'." I mumble.
      He looks away in disappointment. "Please, Hoseok. Can we just...talk?"
      Swallowing hard, I look over at the ER and wonder when the doctor will come back. "I d-don't know. I don't want to be hurt again and I j-just...I know if I come back...and it's the same...it'll shatter me." I whisper, feeling a twinge in my chest as his hand slips onto my leg.
     "It won't be the same, Hoseok. I promise you that. If you come back, it'll be different."