Hold On

Chapter 19

WARNING: THIS MIGHT TRIGGER SOME EMOTIONS...

  A few mornings later I woke up with dark circles under my eyes. I had done nothing but cry most of the week I didn't know how I was going to face Ethan everyday like this, especially looking the way that I do. I started into my mirror. I had really let myself go this past month. I had started the yeah so well. But not... all of my progress had vanished..... And I was back at the beginning.

In the same type of clothes as the day before and a sloppy ponytail. I left for school once again. I use to be so happy to see Ethan, but now I hated it, only because I was in love with him, but then I knew that what we were doing and where we were headed was impossible in all levels.

_

It was the end of the day, and I sat perfectly still in my math seat, waiting for Ethan to make his way into his room. Once he did, any ounce of happiness I might have gained throughout the day had disappeared with the look on his face. He looked distraught. And might I say the rest of class be barely looked away from the board. But when you did you could see the dark bags under his eyes...

He kept his lesson simple and individual than it usually is. The bell rang, and I decided to stay back for a minute or so, just to check up on him. I already had my bag in hand, so I could just leave for my car at any time, not having to stop at my locker at all.

The classroom emptied and I stared over at him. He was hardly maintaining eye contact and I could see how glossy his eyes were.

"Are you okay...?" I hesitated but questioned anyways, knowing that he wasn't.

He glanced up at me, "Not really."

I looked down, feeling guilty, "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. It's for the best, I suppose." He looked back down at his desk. My hand immediately found it's way up to my neck, where his necklace still hung. I swallowed hard.

I nodded, "I should go. . ." Instead of stopping me, he kept silent. Accepting it, I walked out of his room. Not even a foot out of his door, there stood the devil's maid herself.

Shantel.

She let out an arrogant laugh, "Should have known you'd be walking out of his room." I looked down, feeling somewhat insecure. "You really are a slut, aren't you?" She asked. Tears burned in the back of my eyes. I just wanted to slap that smirk on her fake-ass face.

"What's going on out here?" Ethan's voice frightened me.

She laughed, "Wouldn't you like to know... This is none of your business."

His eyes widened, shocked at her smart mouth, "Excuse me, but the hurtful words that just came out of your mouth made this my business." Although he was mad at me, he was still there to help me. I couldn't believe it...

"Mr.Dolan, we could use the privacy..." I looked up at him, speaking softly. I still didn't want him to be part of this. It was too much of a risk. He nodded in acceptance, barely looking at me and made his way back into his classroom, closing the door.

I turned to Shantel, " I already told you that nothing was going on between the two of us. So why can't you just accept it and move on?" I said using the only bit of courage I had left to spare in me.

"You're right. . ." Her smile clearly faked. I looked up at her in confusion as she continued, "Why would I really think that someone as hot as Mr.Dolan want anything to do with you at all. I mean, look at you. You're like a broken down little toy. You're no use to anyone around you." She said in spite.

I looked around, and my breathing increased as I took in her words, and let them register.

"I hate to be one to spill the beans, but Clarissa but, you're not pretty. And everything that David had ever said about you... It was TRUE. You have no-body. I mean, your clothes just cling to you. You could really use a diet." She let out a small laugh of honestly while poking at my stomach her nail dug into my abdomen, making tears spring to my eyes.