Hold On

Chapter 38

      Soon enough, I was home alone until my mom made it back next Monday. The silence in my house was unbearable, and I just wanted someone to be there, making noise in any possible way that they could. Watching the television loudly in the living room, or talking on the phone down the hall, or even singing obnoxiously loudly in the shower. But, there was nothing; just silence. It actually gave me a headache. Although the house was quiet, my thoughts were screaming at me. The sound of my own breathing even irritated me. I stared blankly at the end of my bed; completely zoned out in a daze. Everything in my peripheral was blurred and unable to see. The house phone started to ring. The answering machine in my room soon picked up the call. It was my voice.

'Hi, you've reached the Winter's we're not home right now, but please leave us a message, and we'll try out best to get back to you as soon as possible.."

"Claire, It's Ethan. I've tried calling your cell phone several times, but you won't answer. I need to know you're okay." There was a pause, and I didn't know why I wasn't answering his calls, but it was as if I just didn't have the energy to do anything. He took an uneasy breath, "Alright, I'm coming over. I should have never left you earlier."

He hung up and I instantly felt bad, but I just fell back and rolled over, facing the door. I looked around my room. I looked around my room. Staring at my moon chair with a plain blanket thrown carelessly over it. Then I looked over at my closet, then my T.V. and then to my bathroom door. I eventually closed my eyes and fell into a light sleep.

'Claire?" I woke to hear Ethan's voice. "Baby." He said more soundly now, gently pushing my shoulder.

I fluttered my eyes open, and stared up at him, my face expressionless.

"Are you okay? Why haven't you answered my calls or texts?" He asked, looking absolutely worried about me.

"He left, Ethan." I said, my voice sounding more vulnerable than I thought it would.

"I saw." He gave me a small smile, "How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine.... but my mom won't be."

"Your mom's stronger woman than you think. I'm sure she saw this coming."

"No, Ethan. She was planning to move with him after I graduated... To Ohio." I vented.

He shook his head, "He probably wasn't too caught up in it. But look, I'll be here whenever you need me. Whenever your mom may need someone to talk to."

"She doesn't even know that we're together. Won't that look weird?" I asked.

He laughed slightly, "When has that ever stopped us?"

I smiled, "Yeah..."

       Soon enough, the next morning was creeping up fast. I hadn't slept too much that night. I hadn't slept too much that night. I made Ethan go back home and finish his work. I had already taken him away from his priorities to attend some bullshit dinner my dad put on.

I got up from the bed. Thursday morning. Including today, there were four more days I had to be alone in my house until my mother finds out what's going on. I decided that it was time for me to look past all of the negativity going on in my head at the moment, and live the day as it comes. I slipped into some blue jeans and a green floral top. I finished off with a pair of white converse and some silver bagels. My hair was straight and a little longer after a couple of months.

I got to school and knew it was going to be quite a rough day. I sat beside the rest of our group at our group at our usual table in the courtyard. I was distracted, obviously. Although I wanted to make sure I put a smile on for everyone, and let them know that I was as happy as I was acting to be, I couldn't shake the thoughts of my dad leaving, and left ever happen. As much as my dad comes off as a cool guy to everyone else, I knew the real him...and this was him. Him in all of his glory. He's got a new girlfriend. Ha. A new girlfriend. How pathetic. While my mother sits home alone for months, waiting for him to call and tell her he's coming home to her, he's screwing around with another woman. I shook my head at my own thoughts, while everyone else lost themselves in pre-graduation bliss.