Hold On

Chapter 31

  Monday morning, I started to feel really sick again. I took a deep breath before getting ready, hoping not to throw up today. I hoped desperately that it was only a feeling like it had been yesterday. I didn't feel like running out of class all day, that's for sure. I slipped into a pair of my favorite jeans, but once I tried to button them up, it became a struggle. I couldn't believe I hadn't noticed this before. All of my other jeans fit me perfectly...Why the fuck was this happening? I ripped them off of me and bundled them up before throwing them at the wall in frustration. I collasp to the ground, and just began to cry. I was incredibly emotional. If I wasn't honest, I didn't understand pregnancy at all. It was like it had it's own division process in your life. It chooses when to show it's face, and then your entire life flips upside down.

At last, I finally rose from the ground and decided on a from my closet. I hadn't worn it in a really long time, and it'll be the perfect dress to hide the tiny baby bump unlike a tight shirt would obviously reveal. I have to be honest I loved this dress just by the way it looked. I straightened my hair, and put in a double-banded headband to keep my hair out of my face. It would be a good idea, seeing as I had no idea if I would be making numerous bathroom visits today. I clipped on Ethan's necklace, like usual, not caring at all that he was being distant. I loved him no matter what. In the end, I over lapped my dress with a light gray cardigan. I wasn't taking any risks today.

I wasn't sure of what I was going to do when I saw Ethan. Maybe I should kill him with kindness. Smile his way, and walk by. Dad pulled up to the school and let me out. We had hardly said anything to each other, only because he was still half asleep. Once I got out of the car and made my way to the courtyard, it literally felt like everyone knew. I got so paranoid with anyone who looked at me. It felt like one of those movie scenes where the spotlight wall on on someone, more like it was on me, but in reality, no one even knew. They couldn't have known, I wasn't really showing yet, and as far as I knew, I was single. Well, maybe I really am now....I have no idea what's going on with Ethan.

"Hey!" I heard Madison yell from the table, "How are ya feeling Love Bug." She asked as I got closer.

I shrugged, "A little better." I lied.

The bell suddenly rang, and we all were walking our separate ways to out individual classes. I was thankful that I hadn't seen Ethan yet.

_

Throughout the entire freaking day, I escaped from classes for either the bathroom or the nurse's office. The nurse asked questions and all I told her was that I got food poisoning over the weekend and it hadn't quite left my system. Fortunately, she believe it.

I spent the entire class period that I had to have with Ethan (Math class) in the nurse's office. I wasn't ready to see him yet, and quite frankly, I didn't want to have to run from his class of all my classes to throw up in the bathroom. Finally, the day was over, and I headed out to the courtyard. I sat at the usual table by myself, waiting for Gary to show up. I wasn't exactly ready to get in a car at the time either. I knew it would only make me feel carsick as well.

My head dropped in my hands for a few moments. Then suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up and slightly smiled when I saw Violet Schratter standing besides me.

"Are you alright?" She asked in her sweet little voice.

"I'm fine, just a little bit tired today." I lied once again today, as she sat down besides me.

I looked up from my hands seeming like the first time I had seen light all day. Okay, that's an exaggeration, but that's how it feels like. But soon my eyes strayed ahead, and they landed on Ethan Dolan, walking out of the school. His eyes landed on me at the same time. If I would have known any better, I would say that he looked a bit concerned. He almost looked guilty, which he should. Then I remembered what I decided to do this morning. I have him a light smile and lied my head down in my arms on the table. My head felt like it literally weighed a ton. Violet sat besides me, comforting me until the buses pulled up outside the school, and she had no choice but to leave. I felt bad that I couldn't be honest with her. After all, she seemed to really care about me and my metal being. I smiled as iI watched her leave, and soon enough, Gary's car pulled up out front.