Grievously Prideful (Jungkook x Lisa)

24

I am... so done with myself...for the second time.

💎

- Lisa

I have seen this kind of scene before already...
It was Chaeyoung before, now it is me.

Locking myself in my room, not minding anyone.
Not my members, not even Jimin who tried talking to me earlier.

After what happened, Jimin sent a message to Chaeyoung that Jungkook actually witnessed the scene and he walked away without even trying to fight his love for me.

How do they expect me to go to their dorm and try talkimg to him?

I honestly thought that time and until now...
That he don't want to talk to me, that he hates me already.

I guess he do believe, jus like the other people, that I'm a whore, a fancy woman. And mayne he thinks that I am cheating on him, or playing with him.

"Trust me."

I want to tell him, but no...I have no energy to do that anymore.

I am now on the floor, hugging my knees, still crying. I haven't slept for the night...until now that it is night again.

I'm letting myself drown on my own tears.

I can feel my whole face is puffy and swollen already but that doesn't make me worry about it.

A sudden flash back came in my mind...

"Then just let me show you how much I love you."
       He stated and without understanding what he had said...

He grabbed my arm...
Spun me to face him back.

And the next thing I knew...

Our lips touched and in contact.

"Jungkook..."

I was taken aback from what he did.

I froze in shock and I was just pulled back in the reality when I heard the securities sending the crowd away.

I tried pulling myself.

I srtuggeled and pushed Bambam away from me but the way he is cupping my face is forceful.

And after not getting a response kiss from me, he let me.

I glared at him.
My eyes are surely bloodshot red in anger.

And with my woman instinct...

My palm hardly touched his cheek, I just slapped him.

I glared at him for few more seconds after that, then I turned my back.

And I rushed to walk away and take the other exit.

Now everything is on the news, internet and else.
But the underlying story wasn't there.

My mistake...

Not everything is on knees and internet.

What people wants to believe...
That's the only thing they are showing.

They don't even know that I do 't want to kiss him.
And they even thought that we are dating when it is actually a hell for me.

No one knows the truth.
No one saw how I pushed him away and cried while rushing out from the hell.

No one knows that I love Jungkook.
No one knows and they just judged me after that.

I'm not dense.

I'm not dense as those people who are judging me after what they just saw and watched yesterday.

I am sensible that people will judge me.
I have prefigured everything already, even though I haven't seen a their comments about it.

They are going to call me slut, whore, attention whore, dishonest, fancy woman and somethings, and it is because of the fact that I dated Jungkook once in public already.

Now...

"How will I be able to fight?"

"Is it wrong that I intended to tell Bambam that Jungkook and I are official already? What's wrog about it that everything of this needs to happen?"

"And what mistake have I done in life for me to experience this!?"

"Haven't I had enough from that FUCKING BETRAYAL!? HAVEN'T I GOTTEN THE LESSON YET!? WHAT MORE DO I HAVE TO LEARN THAT I NEED TO EXPERIENCE THESE FUCKING THINGS!"

I stood up, yelled and threw the glass on my desk right on the wall.

And it's not enough.

I need to let this out even more.

I got everything from my desk, every glass, porcelains and even the jewelry box.

I threw it right on the same spot, using out all of my energy.

The scattered glasses are a mess on the floor.

Everyone began to knock on my door endlessly.

One moment...
I stepped forward to reach for another glass that is not yet broken...

But being a dimwit, I haven't noticed the glasses that I was about to step on. I just realized it when my feet are bleeding already.

I walked away...
Looking at my feet.

I sat on my bed.

My feet are still bleeding and I don't give a single fuck on it.

I can feel a piece of glass on my feet, pierced amd I still don't give a shit.

I lied on my bed, lifted my knee and lied sideways.

I hugged my knees.

And it doesn't concern me if my blood from my wounded feet will leave marks on my sheets, I don't care if it will smudge.

My eonnies are still knocking and anytime, they will try to break the door if I didn't answer.

I just hope...
They will do the same thing on me just loke what I did when Chaeyoung was about to cut and kill herself.

"Right...
That moment...

I called Jimin and texted him, informing him that Chaeyoung is fucking serious on killing herself that moment. I did that even though they betrayed me."

"That betrayal...
Is still here..."

A weird laugh escaped through my quivering lips.

"If that betrayal didn't happened...
Nome of these shits will ever exist."

"Should I...
Blame myself for being here in this damnifying situation?"