brooklyn nine nine quotes (slow updates)

S2E9 'The Road Trip'

A/N : Sorry i haven't posted in forever but y'all know what you signed up for 🤷🏼‍♀️

Terry: What's going on, Diaz, are you sick?

Gina: Do you have cholera? Is it typhoid? Are you a vampire? My horoscope said to wear a cowl neck today and I laughed!

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Captain Holt: Did you just spit in my trash can?

Jake: No, Vaughn did. There's some tobacco in there too. Vaughn chews it, but it makes Jake super dizzy.

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Captain Holt: Anyway, tomorrow's my anniversary with Kevin. I'd like to cook him an impressive breakfast. Could you help orient me with that process?

Boyle: I'd be honored. Preparing food for one's lover is the most intimate gift of all. Aside from washing their hair.

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Amy: I had an airtight breakup plan in place. I made a reservation next thursday at a well-lit Korean restaurant in midtown. It's the least romantic place I could think of.

Jake: Scully's bathroom.

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Sergeant Jeffords: Okay, if Diaz won't accept our help, we got to go behind her back.

Gina: We definitely should go behind her back. That's the opposite side of where the germs are coming from.

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Scully: Hey, Boyle. I smell burning. Is Hitchcock roasting corn on the radiator again?

Boyle: No. What you smell is the burning wreckage of my relationship with Holt.

Scully: So there's no corn on the cob?