brooklyn nine nine quotes (slow updates)

S2E23 'Johnny and Dora'

Rosa: Anyone over the age of six celebrating a birthday should go to hell.

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Jake: Excuse me. We were just looking for a place to-

Amy: Boink.

Jake: Yes, boink. That's my preferred term for it, too.

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Captain Holt: I am sorry for getting so emotional.

Jake: Pretty consistent tone, actually.

Captain Holt: These have been the - These have been the best years of my career.

Jake: Oh no, this is new.

Captain Holt: And I know that everyone of you gave me everything you had. And I will never forget it.

Jake: Go back to being Robo-Captain.

Captain Holt: Meep-morp. Zeep.
Dismissed.

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Gina: Sir! I'm coming with you.

Captain Holt: Thank you, Gina.

Scully: I'm also coming.

Captain Holt: Not necessary.

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Jake: In the immortal words of Amy Santiago, girlfriend please!

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Captain Holt: Care to sit? I'm sure you'd like to take some weight off your cloven hooves.

Madeline Wuntch: Call me the devil, Raymond? How original.

Captain Holt: Actually, I was calling you a goat. You goat.

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Rosa: I knew just where to punch it (the vending machine) to get free food. Now I'll have to go back to punching Hitchcock.

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Gina: You sneak in and get the letter. I'll distract the file clerk. Apparently, he's very into bird watching, so talking to a woman should blow his mind. And talking to this woman, it could kill him.

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Jake: Man, I forgot how long your signature takes. I'm just gonna watch Braveheart on my phone, real quick.