brooklyn nine nine quotes (slow updates)

S2E12 'Beach House'

Terry: I'm playing Kwazy Cupcakes, I'm hydrated as hell, and I'm listening to Sheryl Crow. I've got my own party going on.

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Jake: Very, very interesting. Guys, Captain Holt has no pants on.

Terry: Umm, what?

Jake: He has no pants on is what. Here are the facts: At 11:55 AM, Captain Holt walked past us holding a hot bowl of soup. At 12:03 PM, I heard him yell. Then, at 12:07, he called Gina into his office. She entered holding nothing. One minute later she left holding an opaque bag.
Captain Holt's pants were in that bag. His knees are in the breeze. He's in his undies.

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Gina: And just to clarify, just how untethered is vacation Terry from his wife?

Terry: Very tethered.

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Gina: Oh no, six drink Amy isn't fun. She's just sad. Damn it!

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Rosa: I am dating his nephew. Now we are hanging out on weekends. What is next? Oh! Small talk.

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Captain Holt: Hello, party people. Peralta told me to say that.

Jake: Yeah, I did. Ain't no party like a Captain Holt party because a Captain Holt party is a total surprise to everyone.

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Jake: Wow, without the bubbles you can really see everything.

Hitchcock: Eyes up here, Peralta.

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Amy: I'm so cold even my fiery dance moves aren't keeping me warn.

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Amy: Hey, Ray, it's time.

Captain Holt: For what, detective Santiago?

Amy: You to give me a promotion and a forty-percent raise. I've been carrying this squad for two years, and my back's getting tired.

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Jake: I've never seen Captain Holt look so upset before. He looks like a sad block of granite.

Charles: What are we gonna do? How do you cheer up granite?

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Captain Holt: This is nice. I mean the wind is unexpected, but welcome and bracing.

Jake: Yeah, it's like a thousand little needles of happiness shooting into your face.