S2E18 'Captain Peralta'

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Charles: He should already think you're great. Like with my dad. He doesn't need me to prove to him that Jake Peralta's the best cop in the precinct, he knows it.

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Gina: Click. I just captured the exact moment you realized you had failed. I guess we all got something out of this.

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Captain Holt: I'm going with Gina's suck an egg idea. You get the Beyonce tickets.

Gina: Of course I do. I told you, it was my birth right, you bitches.

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Jake: That's my dad. The captain talking right now. I came out of his body. No big deal.

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Scully: Oh my God, Jake, who's flying the plane?!

Jake: Co-pilot, Scully, co-pilot.

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Jake: Where do you take your dad when you want to go some place special?

Charles: We got to Csaba. It's a Hungarian restaurant that serves tal ezer Kolbsz. It's a platter of a thousand sausages.

Jake: Euch.

Charles: It's symbolic of our manhood.

Jake: Okay, should have saved the euch till then.

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Amy: Don't just tease my brain, captain. Really go to town on it.

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Captain Holt: Nice job on Quebec. I bet the cops weren't happy you showed them up.

Jake: Yeah, well, maybe not at first. But by the end, they kept calling me a real batard, which I can only assume means hero.

Captain Holt: It means bastard, but that's only because they were jealous.

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