brooklyn nine nine quotes (slow updates)

S3E8 'Ava'

Before I kick this bad boy off, I just wanted to thank you all so much for your support on this book, we've actually gotten #3 in the B99 category and that's actually so amazing to me ❤️. On another note, I am terribly sorry that I have been so inactive, so to make up for it, I will be posting 2 updates at once! Hope y'all enjoy x

🔅

Sergeant Jeffords: Jake, can I speak to you for a minute? In private.

Jake: Ooh, someone's in trouble. It's me. I don't know why I did that.

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Jake: Hey, Gina. I need a top secret favor. Sharon is coming to the precinct and I need your help.

Gina: Uh, it better not be pregnancy-related, 'cause that crap is nasty.

Jake: The miracle of life?

Gina: Dress it up however you want, that's some disgusting animal kingdom nonsense.

-

Sergeant Jeffords: I'm sorry I got angry earlier. You did a great job today. Hospital was the right decision. I'm so glad you're Ava's godfather. I'm so glad you're Sharon's god-husband.
I'm so glad you're my god-wife. I have no idea what I'm saying at this point

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Sharon: Guys, my water just broke.

Jake: Don't worry about that, we'll just get you another one.
Oh, you mean your body water! That's much worse.

-

Jake: Guys, what the hell is going on?

Hitchcock: Hitchcock and Scully saved the day.

Amy: No, you plugged ten fax machines into one outlet and caused a fire.

Scully: But I pointed to the fire extinguisher and was like, "The fire extinguisher's over there."

Boyle: You pointed at the toaster oven!

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Jake: You stay here and take care of Sharon.

Gina: Ugh. What if she's still pregnant when I get in there?

Jake: Then you'll deal with it.

-

Sergeant Jeffords: Guys, I just want to say thanks to all of you.
Charles and Amy filling out forms.
Rosa, I'm so thankful you got me here on that bike.

Rosa: I'm thankful I could help.

Boyle: I'm thankful that I'm-

Captain Holt: Boyle, this is clearly a moment between him and Diaz.

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Captain Holt: Ah, Sharon. Nice to see you. You look so big. Like a mighty truck.

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Gina: It's been over an hour. This has to be a record for longest childbirth.

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Captain Holt: Now, with the internet being down, we'll have to do all the paperwork by hand. Would you two be okay with staying late tonight?

Boyle: Well, I was gonna slow-cook a goose, but I guess I could normal cook her.

-

Amy: I'm thankful that you trust us with such an important task.

Captain Holt: And I am thankful to have such a dedicated employee.

Boyle: And I'm thankful-

Captain Holt: Dismissed.

-

Jake: Mrs. Sarge, how are you?

Sharon: Very pregnant. Is Terry back yet?

Jake: Not yet, but he will be back any minute, and in the meantime, I will take great care of my godchild and my god-wife.

Sharon: Oh, yes. Terry did tell me that you might be calling me that.

Jake: Aww, you guys talk about me?

-

Sergeant Jeffords: Jake, there's a copy of our birth plan on my desk. Call the doula.

Jake: Copy that. I will call the doula. Which is a thing that I definitely know what it is.

Sharon: A doula is someone who supports you emotionally and physically and coaches you through the process.

Jake: Oh, I see. So sort of like a vaginal Gandalf?

Sergeant Jeffords: Stop saying that word!

Sharon: Ooh, that's actually a pretty good analogy.

Jake: Well, Sharon liked it, Sarge.