brooklyn nine nine quotes (slow updates)

S2E19 'Sabotage'

Scully: You called us useless. You called us incompetent. You called us zeroes in the sack.

Boyle: Never happened.

Scully: Well, someone said it to me last night. Oh, must have been my wife.

-

Jake: Rules are made to be broken.

Amy: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.

Jake: Uh, piñatas.

Rosa: Glow sticks.

Jake: Karate boards.

Rosa: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.

Jake: Rules.

-

Boyle: I gotta say. You guys are good cops.

Hitchcock: Yeah, no doy. How do you think we got to be the oldest guys here?

Boyle: By never being promoted and losing all your money to divorces.

Scully: And bad investments.

-

Boyle: You're useless. You are completely useless. You are, without a doubt, the most incompetent detectives I've ever seen. And I am including that bomb sniffing dog that humps all the bombs.

-

Boyle: Anyway, sorry for calling you useless. I'm gonna make sure everyone knows you did good.

Scully: Boyle, please don't.

Hitchcock: The last thing we need is to suddenly be on everyone's A-list. The ones to watch. The golden boys.

Scully: A pair of red hot dicks.

Boyle: No one calls detectives that any more.

Scully: People called detectives that?

-

Jake: Captain, this is insane. I don't do drugs. Sure, a couple of my teeth are loose, but that's from dental neglect not meth.

-

Rosa: You know your turning signals been on for thirty seconds.

Amy: I like to announce my turning intentions. This isn't the Indy 500.