brooklyn nine nine quotes (slow updates)

S3E7 'The Mattress'

Amy: He said he'll point him out to us.
So you approach on foot from the south, and me and Devon will be in an unmarked car here.

Jake: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. "Me and Devon"? Didn't you mean "Devon and I"?

Amy: Oh, God.

Jake: I corrected your grammar! Are you so proud of me? Are you horrified? Are you super horny?

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Jake: Actually, sir, I think we were kind of hoping we could work the case together.

Captain Holt: Oh, are you two no longer-

Jake: Smooshing booties?

Captain Holt: Yes, that's exactly how I was gonna finish my sentence.

Jake: Figured.

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Boyle: Gina. Gina. Gina, I screwed up, big time.

Gina: Charles, given your daily life experiences, you're gonna have to be more specific.

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Captain Holt: I want you two to go undercover as a couple to stake out the room.
You should be very convincing, given that you're currently what was it? "Smooshing booties."

Jake: Great, and thank you for saying it that way. It made us both feel very comfortable.

Amy: Sure did.

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Boyle: Hey, guys. I just discovered a new drug too.
It's called "your relationship," and I'm high on it.

Jake: Charles, I'm gonna need you to back off, man.

Boyle: Roger that.

Jake: Yeah.

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Rosa: All right, I'll take one. Now, go sell your candy to everyone else, stupid.

Terry: Hey, hey, hey. You can't call a kid stupid. What if he's really stupid?

Rosa: Terry, this is Sam, my little brother from Brooklyn's Big Brothers.

Sam: I think it's funny when she calls me stupid.

Rosa: No one cares, stupid.