Street Racer Darling |:| Knockout X reader

Loving Betrayal

~(Y/N)'s POV~ 

     He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not. Though I have no flower to pluck petals off of, I still repeat this in my processor. The thing is, I know he loves me, and it's hard to show that I love him back in this state. I was a crying mess, trying not to break anything as my vision blurred. When Knockout came into our berthroom, I didn't want to look at him, not because I hate him, but because I didn't want him to see me cry, though I know I did a poor job of hiding my tears. I could feel his sadness when I passed him. How does he hide it so well? If it were anyone else, they wouldn't have noticed his anguish, but I know him better than anyone.

     He doesn't believe this might end in disaster. I'll most likely be locked up like the first time, imprisoned and no longer trusted, though there isn't to much trust in me at this point anyway. I just hope they're all understanding... 

         "Almost ready?" I heard Knockout ask as I picked up my human form, brain-dead and waiting for me to come back to it. 

         "Yeah..." 

He escorted me up to the launch pad of the Nemesis, Soundwave waiting patiently as he stared off to who knows where. He turned once Knockout made our presence known by clearing his voice box. 

         "You have the coordinates, I trust?" Knockout asked, to which Soundwave nodded, and opened a groundbridge. 

I hesitated, turning to Knockout, tears threatening to fall once again. 

         "Knockout I don't want to leave you again..." 

He brought me into his tight embrace, mindful of the human body in my servo. 

         "I-I know..." He placed his chin on the top of my helm, "I don't want to see you go again, but it's for your safety." 

         "S-safety can go t-to the Pit!" I sobbed into his chassis, making him chuckle, the rumble calming me down, but only by a small fraction, "Come with me this time!" 

         "You know I can't do that." 

I nodded, showing my understanding, but that doesn't mean I'll go by myself again. 

         "Will you at least walk with me?" 

         "Sure thing darling." 

I took hold of his servo with my free one. No matter what I wasn't going to let go. I'm not going alone again. 

     We started our way to the groundbridge, it's bright swirling colors almost foreboding, knowing where it lead to. I stopped in front of it, hesitating. I didn't want to go, they won't understand. For all I know they'll think I killed (Y/N) and pretty much sentence Wildstryke to death. Actually that might be an exageration... though there will be questions on why my human body is brain dead if Ratchet does a check up... Bumblebee might not like me anymore, I don't think I could bare not having Raf there asking questions about my street racer life... What a mess this will be. 

         "I'm sorry (Y/N)." 

Turning, I was about to ask Knockout what he meant, but was met with the sudden bombardment of both him and Soundwave, Knockout's servo leaving mine as I stumbled backwards through the Groundbridge. Once I was through, I stood in shock as the swirling vortex disappeared. I heard pede steps behind me, to which I activated my canon, pointing to where I assumed their faceplate to be. When I saw Optimus, I froze, my fear and sadness most prominent as tears sprung to my optics once again. I deactivated my canon, and fell to my knee plates, human body still clutched in my servo. Though I didn't want to cry in front of them, the energon tears thought otherwise as they fell freely. Optimus placed a servo on my shoulder plate.