Princely [MxM]

What? Baby? Where?

I wandered back to our room and lingered by the mattress before sitting on the edge in defeat. My hands folded in my lap, uninteresting. Nails were chewed down to nothing. Fingers were long and awkward. The palm was a malformed round shape.

"Everything is just going to shit," I muttered and pressed my eyes into the heels of my hands. I probably shouldn't have yelled at Cassius. He didn't deserve it. But I was petrified, and still am. And I probably should've intervened when Samhain was taking advantage of Zisael.

I grimaced in disgust.

His uncle, are you fucking serious?

How could anyone do that to a person, much less their own nephew?

Samhain was disgusting, something had to be done. But what about Asmoday? He apparently knew what was going on and was a part of it. I couldn't accuse the king, and definitely not his brother. But did Cassius know? Zisael went to see him, so there was a good chance he did. Why didn't he do anything, then? I exhaled in frustration, what if I couldn't help him? I felt utterly helpless.

"I'm sorry, Zisael," I wept, tears slid down my cheeks in a slow rhythm, "I'm so sorry that I can't help you."

-

I fell asleep crying. For Zisael, for me, for Cassius. When I woke up I felt like shit. The room was dark, but I'd only been asleep for a few hours. Make up for my sleepless night prior to. I needed to make it up to Cassius. I had to apologise.

Nodding my head, my body led me to the one place I knew he'd be, his office. My hand balled into a fist and I raised it against the door but lost my nerve.

What would I say?

Sorry for being a dick I'm just an over emotional fuck.

I bit down on my lip and pressed my fist over my mouth.

Fuck it. Let's go.

I gulped and rapped my knuckles on the door. It echoed like a bomb going off in my head.

"Come in." Cassius commanded, his voice was muffled but it sent a tidal wave of emotions crashing over me. My hand shook as I stepped inside and shut the door behind me.

"What do you want." He frowned, it was more like a threat than a question. I walked up to his desk, my legs wobbly.

"I came to apologise," I whispered, barely audible and look at the floor. My hands were clasped awkwardly in front of me.

He didn't respond.

"I shouldn't have snapped at you like that," I muttered and gulped, "you were only trying to help."

He began to scratch at the paper again. My heart deflated.

"Please Cassius," he flinched when I said his name but didn't care to look up, "I'm sorry, I was just shaky and I didn't mean to lash out at you like that."

"Really? Really Alabaster, you were 'just shaky'?" He snarled, I looked away, "No. Just- no. You always get mad at me and I forgive you and everything is sunshine and rainbows. Not this time. You don't just get to say sorry and pretend it's all right because it's not."

I stood dumbfounded and ready to cry. But I wouldn't do that, it would make him feel bad and he didn't deserve that. I knew I was the one who was wrong.

"Tell me what to do," I pleaded and looked into his eyes, begging him for forgiveness.

"I can't, Alabaster. I'm too fucking pissed right now, so just leave me alone for a few fucking days," he snapped and clenched his fists in anger. I was destroyed. I had ruined everything. I was a fucking screw up.