Princely [MxM]

I Promise I Hate Myself More Than You Will

We... didn't finish the tour. Lux fell asleep.

Not that I'm complaining, he was kinda cute in his sleep.

The next day he was called back to Bane, something had happened, but he didn't tell me what. I laid on my back, staring at the ceiling and thinking about... everything. Cassius was going to find me. He wouldn't stop until he had, and I hoped that Beth had gotten the message across.

I exhaled and placed a hand over my abdomen. I'd been so distracted lately that the nightmares had stopped. What would Lux think when I started showing? He'd know that it was Cassius' and I was afraid of how far his patience actually reached. There was nothing to do but wait and hope, it's not like I could stop a baby from developing.

I wondered what it would be like to feel it kicking. To know that I held my child inside me, Cassius' child. I banished the thought quickly, he still didn't know. And how long would it take him? Days? Months?

It was terrifying to think of being away from him that long. I couldn't imagine what he had been doing. My stomach knotted in anxiety. If he found me and I was very clearly pregnant what would he think? That it wasn't his? That it was... Lux's?

I shook my head as the door opened. Lux slid inside and looked at me in something almost like surprise.

"I didn't think you'd stay in here," he murmured as I sat up from the bed.

"Oh, I walked around for a little while," I replied honestly and swung my legs over the edge of the bed.

Lux walked over to his dresser and placed whatever he was carrying there, "I see, and-" he cut off abruptly. I watched as his entire body went taut before turning to me. I felt my heart pounding in my throat. He walked over and I could see the fear glazed in his eyes.

He lifted up my shirt and pressed his ear to my abdomen.

No.

No, no, no, no, no.

He must know.

"It's not there," he whispered deathly quiet, "it's not there."

"What?" I asked as my voice cracked slightly.

"It's not there," he repeated and I could only imagine what that meant.

"Lux?" I whispered as fear crawled up my throat.

"Lie down," he command and pressed my back onto the mattress. He pulled my shirt back up and pressed down on a few places on my stomach. I was fucking terrified.

"Lux?" I asked again and didn't bother to hide the worry in my voice. His gaze shot to my eyes momentarily.

"You need a doctor," he muttered and scooped me into his arms. I felt my blood run cold. "There's an abnormality."

"You knew?" I gasped and dug my fingers into his shoulders.

"I could hear it," we were on the move. Lux walked as fast as he could with me in his arms, "I can't now."

He couldn't hear it.

I felt bile rise in my throat at the possible meaning of those words.

-

He carried me into a hospital. Full of people and flashing lights and sounds and scents. It was all too much.

Too much for the thundering in my chest and the icicles running in my veins. Lux was talking but I couldn't hear him speak. It was all garbled to me. Like I was underwater.