The Beta's Unwanted Mate | ✔️ Complete

75 | love runs out

"I got my mind made up and
I can't let go.
I'm killing every second
'til it sees my soul.
I'll be running, I'll be running,
'Til the love runs out,
'til the love runs out.
And we'll start a fire, and
we'll shut it down,
'Til the love runs out,
'til the love runs out."

---

75 | love runs out

-Olivia-

I don't know for how long we stayed there, mourning over our loss. I don't know how many tears I shed over my lost friend, but all I know is that I felt like there was a void in me. A void that could no longer be filled.

Even after all that had been happening in my life- I was still holding up. I was still able to gather myself, I was still in one piece and I had not let myself be broken. But this felt like that last brick in jenga before everything went down.

Like the fort of my dreams, my life, my aspirations, my hopes and my beliefs came tumbling down till it was all a heap of mess and unfulfilled promises.

My faith in kindness and love that was hanging by a thin thread snapped and nothing so loving was left in me anymore.

I felt hollow.

I felt lonely. Like I was surrounded by people but still I felt stranded. I felt clueless. I had no idea what to do anymore.

What are my aspirations? What are dreams? What do I want to do? What arey beliefs?

I was still pondering. Lost in my own thoughts when the news came that all the members of the rogue pack had been killed by the army of my pack.

Katherine suggested that we should all go to the tents they had set up for the night, before we leave for the pack house tomorrow.

I didn't want to go back to that pack house. And which pack? Whose pack? Is it even mine?

I don't think I'll be going back there anytime soon. Maybe I'll request to shift packs and join some pack more faithful.

The thoughts of losing childhood memories and friends passed my head but I scoffed at it.

Memories are lies. They make you think it will be okay again. Memories give you the greed and the hunger for happiness again. They arouse hope in your heart but they never fulfill it.

And friends? I don't even know whether I have any anymore.

Andrew, for sure, he's a gem of a person and I'm glad that he's okay and doing well. But then again I'm certain he'd do good without me too and he really doesn't need me.

The rogue attack at school incident was stuck in my head and I couldn't​ help but fear that being with a werewolf like me could risk his life.

Then there's Ryder.

I don't know how to feel about him. I am certainly not mad at him for not showing up before. Because I know that he wasn't even here to begin with.

But I still remember the way he had treated me because of Cindy and I don't know whether I'm ready to forgive him or not.

He is one the of those people who actually know me but that's of no use anymore because I, myself have changed.

But he has always been there when I've needed him. And even today he didn't think twice before risking his life.

So where does he stand?

And how did he even get here in the first place?

No clue.