18 July
- 4:50pm -
I just got back from the swimming pool. Although I couldn't swim, it was fun. The people of the campsite (animation) arranged a aircastle that floated on the water and there also was a huge air waterslide!! It was fun to watch but I'm honestly a bit disappointed I couldn't join. It looked so much fun. I've been in the water though, with one leg but ok. I just wish I could swim again.
Guess I have to wait till monday for that :/
I'm just at the tent now, well outside. Its too warm in there. Its like a sauna.
Well I just wanted to tell a bit about my childhood. No one knows this besides my best friend. Its no much fun but I just want to tell you.
So I've said it before, my parents used to hit me. As long as I can remember they did. I knew it wasn't normal and threathened once to tell school. It didn't help and they were really angry. I always wrote stuff down when they hit me even though its quite bad. I remember writing stuff like "I want to die. I want my damn parents to die. Why couldn't I be in someones elses family?" I still hate them. I cried so much back in the time and I still do. Mostly because of depression though.
Okay this is something no one knows. Not even my best friend. So if someone I know knows this is me Im so dead and I will delete this chapter.
My uncle tried to kind of rape me and he touched me. Im really afraid of him and I dont like him at all.
Now, I think around 3 or 4 years ago I was diagnosed depression. It has been a really rough time. It still is, but I'm glad my parents stopped hitting me. My dad still does but only if he's really angry.
After all of this crap I just can't love my parents anymore. I'm not even going to cry if my dad dies, I think that day will even be a happy day and I honestly think if it happens I can finally move on. I'm not sure what I'd do if my mum passes away but don't think I love her, because I simply don't.
- 11:18pm -
My foot hurts like hell. YEAH I know I was doing better but this is almost unreal. I just hope it gets ok by monday so I can swim again.
I'm also REALLY tired and not well at all. It's depression.
Well, goodnight x
YOU ARE READING
My story.
Non-FictionI never wrote stuff before. But this might be my first "story". I think I'm going to write down what I have to go through everyday. I'm suicidial, selfharming and depressed. Maybe writing will calm me down. Let's just try it *** This contains self h...
