6th September 2014.
- 5:36pm -
No matter what it is, I'm never. good enough and I'll never be. God I'm so bad. I really just want to cut out of anger and sadness and numbness. I really want to, but I can't. I made a promise. Fuck my life. If I can't fix myself before tonight tho, I'll do it.
Life's so worthless, I am worthless. My situation is only getting worse. 1 good day for 20 bad ones. I can't keep it up. Why even do I exist. I wish I was dead. It doesn't even matter. Nothing matters. Fuck my life I feel so horrible. Someone please save me, I'm begging you.
Tears are streaming down my face, since two hours already. They just keep coming. My throat is sore, my head hurts and I can't deal with the struggle of cutting.
I'm suicidial as fuck.
And then there's this guy, who keeps putting me through everything.
And once again. He did it. He fixed me. He brought me from being a crying mess to a laughing and smiling ball of sunshine? I wouldn't call it that but I am REALLY happy right now.
- 10:36pm -
Aaaand Im doing bad again. It has only been two hours but Im fucked up again. Fuck my life. Its so unfair. I want happiness to last. Not to be taken away by my demons whenever they want. Dammit I really want to cut. Gotta stay clean though.. If the struggle will become too much though I'll do it.
- 3:20am -
I've been awake since an hour now.. can't sleep but Im so tired. I'm not that bad anymore, still clean, but exhausted. Im going to try and sleep, bye guys. Tomorrow is going to be very hard for me and my fam. I'll tell you about it tomorrow.
Night'
KAMU SEDANG MEMBACA
My story.
NonfiksiI never wrote stuff before. But this might be my first "story". I think I'm going to write down what I have to go through everyday. I'm suicidial, selfharming and depressed. Maybe writing will calm me down. Let's just try it *** This contains self h...
