17 Augustus 2014.
*THIS CAN BE REALLY TRIGGERING*
-2:27pm-
I'm 17 days clean. I know I had it coming, you know, the bad time.. but so soon? Don't worry, I'm still clean but I had to cover my schoolbooks and yeah I'm a total failure because I did them all wrong. Like I can't even cover my own books. And I broke down about this. This little thing just ruined my whole day because I know from here it will only get worse and worse. I can't fix it anymore.
- 11:17 pm -
I got my mum to do it but it didn't make anything better. I'm in bed at the moment, stressed out, having anxiety attacks and shaking. I'm crying and feeling numb, my heart hurting more than ever. I can't calm down, I can't recover. I don't see how. Nobody can save me. I'm in so much pain.
I hate my parents. Thinking they know everything. They disgust me so much. And there's my father, saying I have to hand in my phone at night, when I go to bed. No way in hell I'm going to do that shit. He cursed me out and only made me feel worse. Can I just die? Nobody loves me. No. Fucking. One. I hope I close my eyes tonight and never wake up. And in case God sees this and saves me from this hell, I will write my suicide note too now. I cant keep going on living like this. Everyday is a living hell I don't want to continue.. I'm sorry people. I love you all but I don't know if I'll make it to tomorrow. Never forget I love you. Niall, if you ever read this, you changed my life into the better and you made me strong. I'm just not strong enough. I'm so sorry for everything.
YOU ARE READING
My story.
Non-FictionI never wrote stuff before. But this might be my first "story". I think I'm going to write down what I have to go through everyday. I'm suicidial, selfharming and depressed. Maybe writing will calm me down. Let's just try it *** This contains self h...
