27th September 2014.
*COULD BE VERY TRIGGERING*
I NEED BLOOD I NEED PAIN I NEED THE FREAKING FEELING OF SKIN RIPPING OPEN I NEED TO FEEL IT STING UNDER MY CLOTHES I NEED IT I FUCKING NEED IT BUT I CAN'T HAVE IT. I hate it. So damn much. UGH! I CAN'T STAND THIS!!
The struggle of cutting has been so bad the last three days and it's so exhausting. It's totally killing me, and I know it won't leave until I pick up the blade. But I can't. I have to stay strong at least 2 days more. If the struggle doesn't go away I'm going to pick up that blade. And I'm not even sorry.
You'll never understand how big of a war it is to not cut if your whole body needs it. It's irresistible.
I get that heavy, strong feeling in my chest, making it almost unable to breathe. I also got that in my throat. Mostly in my throat. My skin is screaming for the feeling of being ripped apart. I need the sound of it. I need the pain. I need the blood. I need relief.
Right now so much is going on. My life is surrounded with lies.
11pm and Im finaly drunk I guess. Its so good. No pain at all. Gona drink a few shots more. Bye guys
YOU ARE READING
My story.
Non-FictionI never wrote stuff before. But this might be my first "story". I think I'm going to write down what I have to go through everyday. I'm suicidial, selfharming and depressed. Maybe writing will calm me down. Let's just try it *** This contains self h...
