25th September 2014.
Today was just shit. I worried all day long about nothing. I couldn't calm down and had anxiety the whole day through. I even had an anxiety attack at fucking school but luckily I was alone outside so I had the change to calm down alone.
Latter this day I got one terrible message. Someone really important had attempted suicide and it was just horrible. I was wrecked. When she didn't answer for a while I thought she was gone and I couldn't calm down. I swear I never prayed so much in my entire life.
It's horrible. Just beyond horrible.
She's still here. And I'm so happy with that. So if you see you see this, I love you so much it hurts. You're one the best persons in my life and I'm glad to know you. Please don't even try stuff again. I can't miss you baby.. :(
It made me think though. No matter how much pain I am, I don't want her or anyone of the less people who love me to suffer that way. For now I think. And it's easy for me to say that now bc honestly I'm doing better. And if I ever commit, I hope it's when they least expect it and are calm. It sounds ridiculous but that's how I think about it.
It's 10:30 and I'm real tired so goodnight everyone!! Xx.
YOU ARE READING
My story.
Non-FictionI never wrote stuff before. But this might be my first "story". I think I'm going to write down what I have to go through everyday. I'm suicidial, selfharming and depressed. Maybe writing will calm me down. Let's just try it *** This contains self h...
