Secrets ☆completed☆

Part twenty one-Daisy

Feeling his lips softly on mine does nothing to tame me,  I'm fuming with him denying me,  more the fact that he found the whole thing hilarious really.  He pulls away from me when I don't respond to his kisses, I push his body away from me and stomp off to the bathroom,  locking the door behind me.
He knocks on the door lightly “D! You mad at me?” he sounds amused still
“nope,  I'm fine!” I say in such a way as to let him know I'm in fact furious.
“Fuck sake Daisy!” I hear his footsteps retreat and his door open and slam.

I relax on the toilet and do my business,  paybacks a bitch Marshall I think scheming in my mind and making myself laugh if anyone could see me they're think I'd lost it. 

I stop laughing when I notice a small amount of blood on the tissue I've used,  I sit there looking at it,  I know he didn't hurt me so it's not from that,  I'm not due on,  I've got another three weeks of my pill to take yet,  I'm confused. 

Clarity hits me my bloody pill, my earlier anger now forgotten, where are they? 

I rummage through my toiletry bag and find them at  the bottom of the bag,  I look at the days on the packet and realise I've missed two,  I never miss it,  never!
I quickly read the advice on the packet and it says to take the two missed pills, which I do quickly. 

Pregnancy would just be the icing on the cake right now. 

I don't read any further but take the tablets out and put them on the table beside my side of the bed. I sit for a while contemplating my own stupidity.  Being In love is making me a fucking idiot clearly.

The door opens and Marshall walks back in,  sitting beside me on the bed “ya coming back down or staying here the rest of the day?” I look at him and I feel an overwhelming need to get away from him,  I want to run away as far and as fast as possible and I don't understand where this feeling has come from, obviously it's come from me being an idiot!

I decide to clear my conscience “I was bleeding a little bit when I went to the bathroom" his body clenches beside me and he puts a hand on the top of my thigh “I hurt you?” he questions me quietly sounding appalled,   his free hand covers his face,  “fuck D, I'm sorry!”

I find my voice eventually “No, no  you didn't at all Marshall" I pull his hand from his face and lace my fingers through it.
“I'm an idiot Mars,  it came from me missing two of my pills,  I've shocked myself a bit that's all"

His face goes as white as the sheets on the bed and it makes me laugh “Relax,  the pack says to take the missed pills and two more tomorrow and it'll be fine, I'm sorry,  I never forget"

He's gone mute,  making me laugh nervously

“It's not fucking funny Daisy,  a fucking baby with you would be a fucking disaster”

he finds his voice at last, his comment comes from his fear,  I know he loves children and I know it wouldn't really phase him,  it's just momentary shock speaking but his words cut through me playing up to my low self esteem,  usually he makes me feel invincible and that to him I'm the best thing in the world but his apparent disgust at me having his baby plays on my mind. 

I remove my hand from his and standing up causing his hot hand to fall from my thigh “I'm sorry I worried you,  but like I said it's all sorted now!” I feel tears springing in my eyes and rather then cry in front of him,  I leave the room and head back down to the pool. 
I dive in and the cool water feels amazing against my skin,  I swim to the far side of the pool and tread water , I allow a few tears to fall and then move on.

Turning round I see Marshall is back lying in the hammock,  texting on his phone, I'm not quite sure how to carry on now,  so I just float about in the pool for an hour or so,  letting the water carry my weight and giving me time to try and relax my exhausted mind. Looking up I think Marshall has gone to sleep so I get out,  grabbing my towel I dry myself off before grabbing a dry towel and laying it out on the nearest lounger to the hammock.