Secrets ☆completed☆

Part twenty two- Marshall

I find myself watching her closely today, outwardly she's great, perfectly normal, we've had sex a few times since we went to bed last night and got up this morning,  She's laughing at my cheesy jokes but there's something wrong, I go back in my mind over everything I said to her yesterday, I can’t fucking think of anything I said that might have upset her but there's clearly something bothering her, I lay back on my bed and watch her picking up her clothes from the floor and tidying up after herself.

She's right though we didn't fight, I mean Kim and I fought, yesterday was nowhere in that league but she did throw me for a loop with forgetting her pill,  I don't know what would happen if there was a baby, it would be fucking bad timing for sure but on the other hand if Daisy was mine, lock, stock and barrel, there wouldn't be a happier man in the world.
I can't take it any longer “Daisy, come sit here" I pat the bed next to me, the features of her face screw up she thinks I'm after sex

“No funny business Mathers” I cross my heart and promise, she lays down next to me. I reach out for a curl and twirl it round my finger thinking how to approach this

“D, there's something bothering you, did I say or do something to upset you yesterday?” “I'm fine" she mutters but I notice she doesn't deny that I did something

“D, we can spend hours with me asking and you denying but I'd like to hurry it up because if I don't know what I did then I can't make it up to you, can I?” I try and make light of it,
I fucking know there's something, she sighs beside me and then starts sobbing, I fucking knew it, I knew I'd upset her, why can't I remember. I cuddle up to her and hold her tightly while she cries, being patient for once in my life, as her tears slow up a little she pulls her head away

“I'm not good enough for you to have your baby!” she manages to get out between sobs, I don't recall saying such a thing
“I never said that D" I try using a soothing tone with her but she pulls away again, her eyes rimmed red from crying, she gathers herself together

“You said having a fucking baby with me would be a fucking disaster" she hiccups, I did fucking say that, The memory hits me squarely now and it was after that she was off with me, done fucked up again Marshall!

“Baby, I didn't mean it to sound like that, I'm really sorry that it sounded that way, If things were  different then nothing would mean more to me, and you know I like practising making babies!” She laughs and pats my leg “You really mean that Mars?”

I climb on top of her, “Yes, I really mean it, I was shocked and the timing would be off, wouldn't it!” She nods agreeing with me “I love you Daisy and it’s me that's not worthy of you".

She's hushes me “I love you Mars and you deserve the world" I feel fucking horrible “No one ever takes time to make me feel worthy of their love and time, but with you I felt like you did and you made me feel like I mean something to at least one person in this world then yesterday after you said that, it was all I could think about"

I'm a sack of Shit, why couldn't I have phrased that whole conversation differently. “You mean everything to me D, you're in my home and no other woman has been here, I've not introduced anyone else to my girls, I'd do anything for you and I mean that.”
She hugs me tightly and whispers thank you.

“Babe, Porter came by here to pick me up yesterday and he saw you in your bikini, he asked me about you because he recognised you from the concert, he's coming for dinner tonight” I get it out quickly and she doesn't react the way I thought she would, she just strokes the hair at the back of my neck and says ok.

“I got crazy mad because he saw you in your bikini and I was insane with jealousy, that's why the whole Shady thing came about" she shrugs her shoulders