Chapter Thirty-eight

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I lay in bed and stare up at the ceiling fan. It spins around and around and around. I find myself following one blade as I count the number of times it spins in a circle. One. Two. Three. I lose count as my eyes blur and I feel overwhelming dizziness take over my vision.

I can't believe I am to be married in one day. Twenty four hours. Less than twenty-four hours. Holy shit. I can't wrap my head around it.

I would be lying if I said that Spencer hasn't popped into my head. Hell, I would be lying if I said he wasn't taking over my mind. I keep questioning this whole thing. Do I love Liam? Do I love Spencer? Do I even know whom I love?

Spencer and I haven't talked or exchanged messages since he confronted me about the baby. The silence is killing me, but not seeing his face is putting me in a grave. I haven't realized that I haven't gone this long without seeing him and I miss him. I miss his touch. His conversations. Everything about him. I just can't deal with not seeing his warm green eyes.

Even with all these doubts, I think the smartest thing to do is to go through with the wedding. With time, I will learn to love Liam as much as I love Spencer. Loved. I loved Spencer. Past tense. There is no more present for us. Nothing more, but friends. I don't even know if we can be that.

The doorbell rings and pulls me from my thoughts as I get up to check who it is. Gloria is taking me out for lunch then taking me back to her house and I suspect it is her. My suspicions are proved right when I open the door and her face greets me.

"Hello, Brooklyn." She engulfs me in a hug and I hug back.

"Hi, Gloria." I smile back.

"Oh, nonsense. Call me mom." She laughs as we walk towards her car and place my overnight bag in the trunk. I promised Gloria that I would stay at her house the night before the wedding. It's just convenient that she took my dress and has been hiding it from her son.

"Okay." I smile once again before hopping into the passenger seat. We begin to glide down the road soon after at a steady speed.

"So, have you guys thought about if you guys are going to live here or move?" I freeze up at her words. We haven't talked about that.

"No. It hasn't come up." I mumble embarrassed at the fact we didn't have that conversation.

Gloria glances at me. "It's okay if you haven't. Robert and didn't have much conversation either."

Oh, god. Does she mean? I'm not going to ask.

"I would prefer you to stay around so I can see my grandbabies." She chimes.

I look towards my lap and fumble with my fingers. I don't want to have the conversation of children again, so I don't say another word as we park in front of the restaurant.



My mind is going crazy. Running a marathon. Stopping. Then, running again. I can't bear the thought of losing her, not having her in my arms as I fall asleep to her light breaths will send me to my grave.

I wanted to punch the wall that was in front of me. It was so tempting, but I place my fist on the counter instead and try to think happy thoughts.

They never come. The happy thoughts never come and it is frustrating. Without thinking further I propel my fist through the white wall. Fuck. Pain immediately shoots through my hand and I curse under my breath. I look up to see the wall and a hole the size of my palm is now is the middle of it. I'll just hang a picture over that later.

I fought for her. I fought for her so hard and I lost. There is only one thing I can do. Wave the white flag and surrender.

I pull my phone out and find the contact name Justin and press call.

"Good evening Mr. King. Can I get you anything?" He asks through the phone.

"I need a ticket back to New York tomorrow," I say before hanging up.

I walk to my room and shove clothes into the suitcases. When I came here all those months ago, I never thought I would be leaving like this. On her wedding day.

I refuse to go to that. Brooklyn's wedding would be my funeral if I go. I already hate the feeling of her being with someone else the rest of her life, but seeing it would kill me. If I go I would be sentencing myself to death.

Is it possible to die of a broken heart? I will find out tomorrow when she says the final I Do as I am up in the clouds, flying away. I can't see her say those words if they aren't to me.

It feels as if the walls are closing in on my future. My future with her. I don't care about the stupid company anymore. Nothing is worth anything if you don't have love.

Until the Final I DoWhere stories live. Discover now