Prove You Wrong // Cake AU [complete]

2: Blameworthy

[Luke]

I was reading my book on the cold bleachers, pulling my sweater sleeves down over my knuckles when someone tapped me gently on the shoulder. I jumped, letting out a squeak and snapping my book shut, before looking up to see my best friend laughing as if it was the funniest thing she had seen in a while.

"Very funny," I grumbled, shoving my book in my bag and standing up. As I did so, I scanned the field, my eyes landing upon Calum's retreating back. I sighed slightly before allowing my eyes to meet Taylor's.

"Shall we go?" she asked, a small smile playing on her lips. I nodded, following her down the bleachers and jumping onto the yellowish grass of the field. “How are you, this fine morning?”

I chuckled. “I'm okay. You?”

“Annoyed,” she rolled her eyes. “But that doesn't matter. Where to?”

“Maybe the library?” I suggested. “We have to work on our project and all...”

“Luke!” she laughed. “It's Saturday morning! Let's go to the park, or we could go to the record store, though I don't know if it's open...”

She kept spewing out suggestions, but I stopped listening. My eyes were once again trailing to the door of the locker room, just in time to see Calum step out, laughing with his blue haired friend. I quickly averted my gaze back to Taylor's, who thankfully had taken no notice to my inattention. 

“How does that sound?” she finally stopped talking, giving me an expectant look.

“Oh, uh, yeah, sure,” I nodded frantically, trying to act as though I was listening. I gave her a huge smile, to which she rolled her eyes. She knew me too well, but she didn't say anything more. She threw an arm around my shoulders and we began walking away from the field, where the football team were starting their warmups.

Fifteen minutes later, we were sat at our favourite café, cups of steaming hot chocolate clasped in both our hands.

“You should come over for dinner tonight,” Taylor suggested as she brought the cup up to her lips. “If you want to.”

I downed the hot chocolate I had in my mouth, then told her that my dad said that he be home tonight. “You know I'm always up for your parents' cooking,” I chuckled. “But I haven't had dinner with just Dad in a while. It's usually just me and his girlfriend, or me alone.”

She grinned knowingly. “I understand. Well, tell him I said hi!”

“I will,” I laughed, biting my lip ring as I thought about my dad and how hard he worked. He was always working, and Taylor knew that. It hadn't always been the case, though, and I always wished it still wasn't the case.

“What are you thinking about?” Taylor asked, cutting through my inner monologue.

“Oh, uh, my dad and how much he works,” I shrugged, replying honestly. I had no reason to lie to her. Plus, even if I did, she'd know I was lying. I sighed. “Sometimes I worry that it's my fault.”

She sighed. We had had this conversation countless times. “Luke, you know it's not your fault. It's her fault. You did nothing wrong, Luke, and neither did your dad, to deserve this. Seriously, don't blame yourself. No one blames you, definitely not your dad, so you shouldn't blame yourself, alright?”

I nodded and smiled meekly. “I'll try.”

–––

As I headed home that evening after spending the majority of the day with Taylor, I was lost in my thoughts. I was really glad my dad would be home, even though he would be a bit later than the time I usually have dinner at.

The twenty minute walk went past quickly thanks to my music blaring in my ears. I opened the door carefully, but I knew that there was no one home. My dad was at work, obviously, and his girlfriend was out of town, so it was just me. I didn't have any siblings, which had made it that much easier for my mum to pack her bags and leave. I didn't care all that much, to be honest. It was better having her leave me in an empty house than have her constantly tell me how I was a sinner, how I would burn in Hell, and how she couldn't even stand the sight of me.

Hah, well, it was her loss. I felt like everything was better without her around. They say blood runs thicker than water, but sometimes, it's too thick. It suffocates you. And that's kind of how it was with my mum around.

I put my bag down in my room and texted my dad to let him know I was home. Then, I wandered around the empty house, putting on some music in the background to stop me from feeling so lonely and from slipping back into my thoughts.

I grabbed a cereal bar to eat quickly, seeing as I was going to wait for my dad to have dinner. It was nice to have him be home for dinner for once. I wouldn't feel as lonely as I did right now. On school days I barely noticed the loneliness due to all the homework I had to do, but it was on days like these that I really missed my dad. I missed his girlfriend Laura too, but they had only been together for a few months now, so I really wasn't all that attached to her.

I sat in the living room and flipped through the tv channels, not really finding anything interesting. After a bit, I got up and went to my room, and cleaned up all the random clothes I had thrown across the floor, and picked up a photo frame that wouldn't ever stay on the wall.

Finally, I decided to check the mail. I usually hated doing so and made my dad do it, but hey, I really had nothing better to do. Desperate times called for desperate measures.

I didn't even bother putting on shoes, and stepped outside in my socks. I walked over to the mailbox perched just inside our fence, bracing myself for what I was going to be pulling out. I opened it up and groaned as I grabbed the letters, closing the mailbox and stepping back inside the house.

Letters still in hand, I made my way to the kitchen. I stood beside the trash can, throwing out brochure after brochure of church camps and 'Ways To Cure Your Child'.

My mum may not live with us, but she made sure her presence still lingered on, like a smell you would never be able to identify the source of. Never once did she call after that fated day, four years ago. Never once did she write an actual letter, oh no. All she was waiting for was the day I called her. Not to say 'hello', or to catch up, or tell her I missed having her around. Those things would be a pointless lie and a waste of both of our times.

No. All she wanted to hear was the words I would never be able to say: "Mum, I'm cured, I'm not gay anymore."

A/N: Luke's mum sucks. Also, (hopefully), the next chapters will be longer!