Katrina Grey has always steered clear out of drama's way seeing to the fact that she has a secret, and with the constant changes in society, that secret might emotionally and physically destroy her or save the lives of those who she loves.
But one...
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Ten hours. It's been ten hours and I am still crying. Sobbing and crying pathetically but this time, I have told myself to cry as much as I want because after today not a single tear should want to escape from my eyes.
School started three hours ago but u didn't go. Instead, I sat on my bed, locking my door and as my tears fell, the room became colder and now my room is covered in ice. I am still holding back.
My room is covered in ice, from top to bottom while I sit in the middle of it, knees brought up to my chest as I sob in my hands. I don't know how much more pain should I have to go through. I don't want anymore pain. I want happiness. Why the fuck can't things go back to how they used to be?
Why can't my brother get my parents back? Why did it have to be me? Why not anyone else? I hate myself for what I did and for what I have done. I can't move on. I can't forget that day, so easily. I just can't
No therapist will be able to understand what is happening to me. Its like I am poised and calm at one time and the next second I am not. The truth is that I am anything but happy.
I am sad. I am unhappy so why do I need to put up this facade as if everything is alright. 'Cuz its not. Its not alright and sometimes, I just want someone to kill me. The only purpose I had in life will be fulfilled shortly, but what do I do after that?
A knock interrupts me from my thoughts and when I don't reply the door breaks open, it's hinges getting slightly loose and Nathan stands there, his fists clenched.
His fists unclench when he sees my room and me sitting in the middle of it and his eyes soften. He enters the rooms with the other two idiots following him and they stare in awe at the mess I created.
''Did you-'' Ashton begins and I nod interrupting him before bursting into another fit of tears that don't seem to stop.
''What happened?'' Nathan asks as he envelopes me into his arms.
''He-I-he,'' I try to say, ''I lied to him.''
''What do you mean?'' Jordan enquires and so I tell them.
I tell them what happened yesterday. Of how Xavier kissed me and how I messed up. Of how he doesn't want to talk to me.
Of how I am a big liar and of how I don't deserved to be loved.
''Damn,'' Ashton says under his breath after I am done and Jordan bends down on his knees, bowing to me, his head lowered and the other boys follow his suite.
''Don't,'' I say wiping the tears from my eyes, but the traces of the tears are still there. They aren't just imprinted on my face but are engraved, they're incised on my soul.
''What do you want to do now?'' Nathan asks and I shrug because I have no idea what I should do.
''Come clear,'' Jordan says whilst Ashton suggest that I let him come around.
''Why are you here?'' I ask my voice croaking and they all share a look.
''Xavier showed up like a mess today, he almost killed a freshman and you weren't there in school, so we assumed it was because of you and now we're here,'' Ash explains and I nod my head.
''You should go,'' I say to them.
When they are about to say 'no' I interrupt them by saying, ''Please, take care of Xavier...for me.''
They share a look and after a lot of convincing, they get up, each hugging me an then leaving me in my room while I sit and wonder what will happen next?
They go and my hands move in a swift motion making the door attach itself at the hinges. I didn't do it on purpose. I could never.
The tears have now stopped and I get up, walking on the ice making the wood covered floor even more frosty as I make my way towards the bathroom.
Looking in the mirror, I see my eyes turning pink once again, a phenomenon which happens either when you're parents die or when you love someone.
Guess which one it is for me?
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A/N : Heyyy guys,
I hope you guys are doing well and The Wattys Longlist came out yesterday, and this book wasn't apart of it.
I was sad but I asked my mom for some constructive criticism and I have decided that after this book gets over, I will write another one with the same characters and a somewhat same storyline and a better and edited version of 'Engraved.'
THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT I AM LEAVING THIS BOOK JUST LIKE THIS. I WILL CONTINUE TO UPDATE BUT AFTER I AM DONE WITH THE ENDING, I WILL RE-WRITE THE ENTIRE BOOK WITH SOME CHAPTERS HAVING BIG CHANGES WHILE THE OTHERS WON'T. THIS WILL BE HAPPENING BECAUSE I AM KIND OF A PERFECTIONST AND EVENTHOUGH PEOPLE HAVE TOLD ME THAT MY FIRST BOOK WILL NOT BE PERFECT I AM SORT OF HELL BENT ON IT TO BE.
IT WILL BE WRITTEN IN THIS BOOK, MEANING THIS BOOK WILL BE THOROUGHLY EDITED, INFACT THE EDITING PROCESS HAS BEGUN SIDE BY SIDE.
