Breaking Walls | ✓

Chapter 41: Nothing about this can ever make someone happy

Wilder

..

Hi. 

It's been hell. 

I've been sitting outside Reyes's hospital room, they took him inside almost an hour ago and I've never been so worried.

He was unconscious when Lucas called 911, even the police are here.
I told them everything including how Reyes saved my life.

If it wasn't for him I can't even imagine what would have happened. If he hadn't come when he did.

I DON'T WANT TO IMAGINE IT.

I have been so worried about Reyes, I haven't had the time to process what Aiden did. 

Nothing makes sense right now.

And frankly, the only thing I give a crap about is Reyes waking up and looking at me the way he always does. Smile his half-smile and kiss my nothingness away. 

I can't pretend anymore. I don't have the energy it would take to pretend that I didn't love Reyes.

I love the bastard.

Okay, I'm gonna go ask the doctor for the millionth time if I can see him.

So I can tell him this myself.

..

'I love the bastard' she said

She loves me?

Wait. Loves or loved?

Loved or loves Dammit?

Unfortunately I couldn't march over to her house to find out.

There was only one way to know.

I had to keep reading.

..

I know this is my second entry in a day, but when one day feels like 20 with a million change of emotions you gotta write twice.

Where do I start?

Maybe I should start from the beginning.

I met a guy at the goodbye party Colin had thrown for me on my last day in New York.

He was Colin's best friend and I had heard so much about him, it almost felt like I already knew him.

But when he did come in, I was so heedless of my vicinity, myself, my actions. I kissed him, I kissed Colin's best friend without giving a fuck about what Colin might feel about it but then again I did not know about Colin's feelings regarding this until after René and I happened.

But the vital factor in this entire event was that I had sex with René who was nowhere to be found in the morning. The worst part about it was how much I wished he had stayed. The idea that I was one of the many gullible women he probably slept with, fucked me up, enough for me to want to get out of there- fast. So I wrote Colin a goodbye and thank you note which it when I found Colin's letter to me.

--

And there between the pages, I found a paper with Colin's handwriting.

The more I read into her diary the more things cleared up but only to collide and make an even bigger mess.

..

Dear Kea,

I know we've only known each other a few short weeks and yes most of them were spent partying and working but it was pretty amazing. I got to have conversations with you and I realised that my best friend and you would be perfect for each other. The reason I'm writing this instead of just saying it to your face is because I want you to read this and have time to think about it because I believe this could eventually turn into something pretty spectacular. If you are interested, he is coming to the party I'm throwing for you tonight and I would love it if you got to know each other and maybe hit it off. I think you would be good for him.