Breaking Walls | ✓

Chapter 51: The Shadow and the Light

Wilder

By the time we were done, there was nobody around.

Colin must have come. He was big on privacy.

For which I was grateful.

I got off Kea and moved to remove my shirt to give her; which was halfway unbuttoned already and here I was thinking we'd had an innocent kiss.

I unbuttoned the rest of it, half smirking at how we weren't aware of our own actions.

I could see her confused expression when she realised I was taking off my shirt.

So to clear things up I left the shirt on the table and walked out, afraid that if I took another look at her I wouldn't be able to stop myself from finishing what we'd started, all the way till we were safely locked away in the privacy of my bedroom but there was time for that.

Enough time.

I closed the door and turned to find Colin drinking on the steps, his back towards the door.

"Thanks for getting everyone out." I spoke from behind him, getting his attention.

He turned around and shook his head, "The number of phones I had to confiscate and delete shit from tonight I feel like the father of a very notorious kid. Which is actually not too far from the truth." Colin laughed as he took a sip of his whiskey.

Kea walked out in my black shirt and technically it covered her enough for me to not heat up. But the sight of her in my black shirt had the absolute opposite effect.

I was about to stand up and take her hand when the faggot faced fuck; Nathan walked in from the pool area.

He ignored all three of us sitting on the steps and opened the pool house door.

"Hey, I heard there were body shots happening here. What happened?"

"I happened."

"O-kay. Though from what I remember you were always the guy that got them started. Like that time you made out with a girl while sucking lime off her neck. ahhh" He cheered making a squeaking sound.

My eyes immediately searched for Kea and I could see a whole new blanket of hurt cover her face. She simply turned around and walked away like she didn't belong in these conversations that kept taking place around her.

Colin stared at her walking away and then at me, when I, in turn, spun around at Nathan and choked him.

Colin pulled me off of him, "Maybe you have more important things to worry about."

"Like where to hide his body?" I watched his face turn red as I strangled him.

"Haha no. Like the girl leaving." Colin gave me a humourless laugh.

I left Nathan in the hands of Colin and turned towards the house to see where Kea had gone.

Colin sat Nathan down and spoke as calmly as possible, "Now what new kind of sick fuck are you?"

I laughed and continued to walk in the direction Kea had gone earlier. I could see her running towards the wooded deck around the garden.

I ran after her this time, because the woman was running toward the 20-foot boundary wall, thinking it was the exit.

Also, I had to tell her how I felt ONCE AGAIN.

"Kea stop, don't be like this, that girl in there on the billiards table wasn't you."

"Oh, I thought you liked girls who let you do body shots off of."

"I didn't know what I liked back then okay? I was drunk and high all the time, I didn't know what I was doing. I don't remember half the things Nathan just mentioned and the other half I was doing only because in those moments I didn't know I was doing them. Could I have dealt with things differently.. probably. Better than this.. probably not. But I can't change who I was but I'm not the same person anymore." She kept walking away, I caught up with her and grabbed her, "Will you just stop. Listen to me for one fucking second. "I know this party is the absolute opposite of what I'm trying to prove to you but I don't want this." I was breathless, begging almost. "You have to believe me, all the things I do with you are because I want too, because I can't stop myself, because it is more than just a bodily need or want. I keep running around you because you're not just any girl to me Kea. I love you Goddammit. After everything. I love you."

I wanted to say more, explain more but she cut me, "Why are you giving me explanations Reyes? You made it very clear the last time I was here that you wanted nothing to do with me."

"And yet you still came." I smiled

"That was because I thought there was still something redeemable about you. I was wrong." This was her pain speaking, I knew that but that didn't mean it didn't fucking cut deep.

"Too bad it took you so long." This was my pain speaking.

Somewhere I thought our pain would win.

How much we kept hurting each other, knowingly, unknowingly.

That somehow it was going to get the better of us.

She turned around to leave.

And my heart stopped, with the growing lump in my throat I couldn't get myself to do anything.

Maybe this was it.

She was walking away and it felt like it was in slow motion, or maybe she was just walking really slow to make my pain of watching her go, grow. She momentarily stopped but I didn't let my heart hope, for I knew if I hoped for a miracle now, I would break if she didn't turn. 

But she did. 

Making my heart flutter despite all my attempts to not be hopeful.

I could feel her eyes on me but I couldn't get myself to look at her. 

When I realised it might be the last time I would get to see her like this, I looked up.

Her face was determined, angry even. 

"You know what NO. Stop doing that."

"What?" I asked, trying not to smile.

"Stop pitying yourself Wilder, Yes, life is fucked up and it fucked you over but guess what everyone around you is just as fucked up. Did you for once stop and think about what I've gone through before you came into my life or what your best friend has been going through ever since you left his. No! Because you've been cooped up here miles away from where you can actually learn things that will help you get over things." She was screaming and I was in awe so I let her continue, not that I had much choice, Kea did what Kea pleased. 

"You pitying yourself is getting in the way of you actually living." She stopped like she was done but I knew she had more to say and I was right, "I love you. I'm sorry for not finding you when I found out about the baby okay? I didn't know if you wanted anything to do with it and it was wrong of me to assume but I did and I will forever regret it. But I can't keep walking away from this like it doesn't matter cause it fucking does. I don't want to walk away from you."

She stared at me while the smile on my face turned into a full blown grin, "Now was that so hard." I said grabbing her by the waist as I kissed her.

And I swear there were fireworks in the sky and the earth momentarily stopped its rotation and the stars burnt brighter and the angels prayed the kiss would last forever.

At least I know I did.

"It was very dumb of you to make the same move on me that you made on that slut with the lime." She punched me.

I laughed, "I've never. ever. in my life kissed someone, or touched someone or ever loved anyone the way that I love you, Kea Faye."

And that was the God honest truth.