Skinny Love

September, 1971

September 5, 1971

John

The flat's front door swung open and I shot up into a sitting position on the sofa, so I could look and see who was walking into the house- I was hoping to everything that was pure and holy that it would be Roger instead of Freddie. I couldn't see Freddie just yet.

During the months of July and August, Freddie monitored every little aspect of my diet and exercise, and I felt like we had gotten on a healthy path. We started having sex again on my birthday, and something just felt different, so I was more than excited to check if Freddie left me an extended birthday gift.

"I have it. It took twenty million years to find, but I have it." Roger smiled, waving a brown paper bag in the air after he walked into the living room. "Isn't it weird that you might have someone literally growing inside of your body? Freddie will be excited, don't you think?" He asked, plopping next to me on the sofa.

"I feel like he'll be worried, because of the band and stuff. I'm worried that this'll ruin things for him." I replied, honestly, while rubbing my stomach- I didn't know if there was anything there, but it felt right to touch it. "I don't want to ruin what he's barely started." I whispered and Roger nodded with a little hum.

"Well, I'm excited, even if he isn't. I would really enjoy a baby around here- the bus rides are so boring, the little thing will liven things up." He smiled before passing me the bag. "Now, I hope your bladder is full, because I want to see if we need to order some baby-sized concert tees." He squealed, then he pushed me off of the sofa and I trudged into the washroom- I was glad we were alone, because the bathroom was almost always full with Freddie either doing his hair, or someone using the washroom for the millionth time that day. Sometimes it was hard living with four other men, and I was really hoping that I wasn't pregnant because a baby would just make the entire place busier.

I almost didn't want to be pregnant because I knew that it would make me grow and swell to carry a baby. I didn't want my body changing, because I had just gotten my body to look the way I kind of wanted- I didn't want marks and fat, because it just made me feel gross.

I opened the cardboard box, then I took out the paper that read:

How to do the Test:

1. Take plastic box into bathroom and remove top (A in Diagram). Turn top over and collect urine sample in it.

2. Either run water into a clean wash basin, or have a clean, well rinsed container of water on hand.

3. Remove tube and unscrew cap (B in Diagram) from tube (C in Diagram). Set the cap aside, you will need it later so do not throw it away.

4. Hold tube in one hand or place in the plastic rack.

5. Fill dropper to lower mark (pink arrow in diagram) with urine.

6. Squeeze bulb of dropper so that urine runs into tube.

7. Fill dropper to upper mark (red arrow on diagram) with water from basin or container (from step two).

8. Squeeze bulb of dropper so that water runs into the tube.

9. Discard dropper. Screw cap back onto the tube.

10. Shake tube gently up and down for thirty seconds.

11. Put tube back into the plastic box in an upright position, the way it came in the box. Do NOT put the plastic cover back onto the top of the box.

12. The box must now sit for two hours. Place it on a flat, solid surface, free from vibrations, where there is enough light so that you can look into the mirror (D in Diagram) and see the bottom of the tube (E in Diagram).