Skinny Love

October, 1971

My wifi is finally working again, and y'all deserve an update for being lovely followers.

October 14, 1971

John

"How're you feeling?" Freddie asked, for probably the fifteenth million time. "How's the baby doing? I-I still can't believe that we're having a baby..." He whispered, then he sat on the opposite side of the sofa, and I put my feet in his lap.

"Yeah, neither can I." I murmured, resting my hand on my, thankfully still flat, stomach. "I-I'm worried, if I'm going to admit it." I whispered and he nodded while he rubbed my shin.

"About the baby, or about you?" He raised an eyebrow and I didn't know what to tell him.

Of course I was worried about the baby. I worried about the little thing all the time, but I didn't know how to tell Freddie that I was literally terrified of gaining weight and having a baby belly. I knew that he wanted a baby more than anything, and I wanted one, too, but I wished that someone else could have it for me. I was slowly going back to not eating whenever Freddie wasn't home, and it felt like I was finally in control- I wasn't going to be in control of my body for a long, long while, and I felt like controlling my diet would make me feel better.

"I just want the baby to be healthy, you know? And I hope they say that I can keep performing." I had played my first official gig five days prior, and it felt amazing.

"Does it move yet?" Freddie asked, quietly, and I couldn't help but laugh at him- he was so clueless about the human body, despite us both taking an upper level biology class together. "What? Why're you laughing at me?" He whined, only making me laugh more.

"Because it can't move yet, Freddie." I snickered, putting my hand over the barely formed bump. "It barely has a body yet, so it won't be moving for a while- you'll see it during the ultrasound." Apparently I was the only one that listened in class. "I-I haven't told my mum about me joining the band yet... or me being up the duff, I guess." I murmured, then Freddie gave my hand a loving squeeze.

"What does she think you're doing now, then? Going to school?" He asked and I nodded while biting my bottom lip.

Lying about being in Uni probably wasn't my best moment, but I couldn't tell her that I decided not to go and joined a band instead. She would've been mad, I knew it, but I was extremely pleased with the direction my life was heading in at the moment.

"We can tell her about the band when we tell her about our little baby. She won't be able to yell at you after finding out that you're carrying her first grandchild." He put a hard emphasis on "we" and it made me feel a little lighter. "But we have to tell her soon, so she isn't asking about mid-semester exams, and the like." He explained and I nodded with understanding.

The worst thing that Mum could have done was say that she didn't want to see the baby, but I knew she'd come around to it eventually. I was also worried about telling Freddie's parents, but I felt like they liked me enough to love our baby. We were meeting them that evening, and I felt like I would throw up at the dinner table.

"Should we get going, then? I want to see our baby now." I was more than eager to see the little thing that would soon take up a majority of my body- the thing that would soon destroy my body.

---

Freddie

John was weighed as soon as he walked into the medical room, and I was almost certain that I saw tears, and a burning desire to crash diet, in his eyes. I knew that the pregnancy was going to be hard on him and his mental health, but I had to keep working to get his mind off of things like that. It hurt me to see him looking that upset over something that should've made us happy, but it was new to him, and I had to accept that it'd take a while for him to get used to it.