Skinny Love

March, 1972

I just want to say: hello to all of my new followers, and thank you all for the lovely messages and comments I've been getting lately. I'm going through a tough time at home, and it really means a lot.

March 3, 1972

John
Freddie held my hand while I waddled into the doctor's office- we had ten weeks left, and they wanted to do a little check up on my baby before she decided to make an appearance. During our last appointment, the doctor said that she was getting pretty big, so they assumed that she would have to come out in April, because I was a bit smaller than they wanted me to be- they didn't want me getting hurt.

"What're we going to do if she has to come out in April?" Freddie asked after a moment of silent walking, and I shrugged while I rubbed my stomach.

"The earliest they'll do it is April twenty-first, when I'm thirty-seven weeks, so we don't have much to worry about right now- and the pamphlet said that she'll be big enough to come out properly at thirty-seven weeks." I explained, holding the small of my back while we made our way towards the medical building.

Roger and Brian were using the van, so we had to walk from the flat to the clinic- it wasn't normally a long walk, but an extra fifteen to twenty pounds made it feel a lot longer. She was very wiggly, but we were learning how to deal with it together. I liked getting to go for walks, Freddie kept me cooped up in the house when we weren't performing and it was getting stuffy.

"She'll be fine. She's just... big." I hated the word, it left a sour taste in my mouth.

Freddie tightened the hold on my hand, then he led me into the medical building and he got us signed in- I toed off my shoes while he did that, then I waddled into the waiting room and I sat down, rubbing my stomach while I waited for him. He made his way over to me, then he sat beside me and we waited for the doctor to call us.

"Stop worrying so much, she's going to be fine." Freddie whispered, holding my hand and rubbing over my thumb with his own. "She's just a little chubby, but that'll be perfect for her- it'll keep her healthy."

Freddie and I were called into the doctor's office, and I sat on the bed while we waited for the man to walk in- it always took a while, but I didn't mind getting to be alone with my partner.

"You've gotten hairy." Freddie commented after walking over to me. "How come?"

"It all started when I got sick." I shrugged, rubbing over my arm. "My body tried to keep itself warm by making more hair, you know? It was just trying to keep me safe, and it hasn't really gone away." I whispered, then Freddie kissed me on the cheek.

"You're like my little bear or something." He chuckled, holding my cheeks so he could kiss me on the lips.

The doctor walked in after a moment, then he told me to get off of the bed, so he could measure me. I passed Freddie my shirt, then I let the doctor do his thing, measuring over the bump and my weight gain- it had been a lot lately, because Freddie fed me an astounding amount, but it was feeding our baby and that was what I had to remember.

"You're measuring almost full term, John, congratulations." The doctor smiled, and I felt insanely proud. "Now, let's take a little look at her and we'll see if she has to come early." He helped me onto the bed, then I lifted my shirt while laying on my back.

Freddie stood by me and we watched as the doctor got everything ready. I hoped that Lennon would get to stay in for the entire forty weeks, but I understood that my body was small and my past wasn't the best so I'd listen to whatever the doctor said. My opinion and wishes didn't matter at that point, I just wanted her to be safe.