Skinny Love

March, 1979

March 1, 1979

Freddie
I almost didn't want to leave Paris- every night with John was perfect, it was more romantic than our life together in London. We fought a lot in London, which I didn't miss while we were touring, but I knew that we had to go back and pick up where we left off- even though it was going to be hard for us.

Parenting was really taking it out on us, especially because both kids were getting older and they had more attitude than before- plus, we were working on getting Remy to pick a gender. Well, I was working on getting Remy to pick a gender. It was all for school, it would be easier for them to make friends and for the teachers to get to know them if they were a boy or girl- I felt bad for pushing them, but I just wanted to make their life easier.

"Here's your tea, baby." I smiled, walking onto the balcony and finding John wrapped snugly in a white housecoat.

"Thank you." John hummed, then he took the mug from me and I sat across from him at the little table- it was so beautiful that morning, and watching the sunrise was beautiful. We would never watch the sunrise in London, it was nice. "I like this, just us." He smiled over at me and I nodded with a small hum. "What do you think Brian and Roger are doing right now?" He asked, putting his feet up on another chair and getting more comfortable.

"Probably making another baby." I chuckled, then I took a sip of my tea- John giggled, too, then he sighed, softly, while he looked off into the distance. "Would you ever do it again?" I asked, looking over to him and smiling at how the sun hit his face- he looked so young, I was jealous.

"Have a baby?" He turned to look at me and I nodded. "No, I don't think so. I'm happy with our two, and I'm just starting to feel like myself again- I don't want to lose what we have right now." He explained and I continued to nod. "But I'd like it if Roger and Brian had another one, just because I miss holding babies." He chuckled, softly.

Roger and Brian had expressed several times that they wanted to have another baby, but they weren't sure when was the best time to do it- with touring and recording, it was hard to plan our family lives. We knew that we'd have a break between May and August, so I assumed they were aiming to have a baby in that period- Roger was allowed to be pregnant on tour, because it was rare to see him clearly from behind the kit. We knew that they'd have to be pregnant by then, but we also had a break between August and November that gave them lots of time to give birth and recover.

"Do you want another one?" He asked, resting his hand on his empty stomach- he always did that whenever he talking about babies, or having babies. I shook my head and he nodded with a half smile. "Rem is being a little handful already, I wouldn't be able to do another one." He giggled and I nodded with a small hum.

Every time we'd call the kids, Remy would get angry at one thing or another- they were going through a dramatic period, and it made it difficult to talk to them. I tried, I really did, but it was hard to be a good parent when I was angry with the kids.

"Can we talk about something other than kids?" I asked, quietly, and John smirked before slowly getting up and sauntering towards me before sitting on my lap, facing me.

"Where'd you put it?" He smirked, wiggling his hips a bit to make me laugh- I knew he was still sore from sex the night before, but he liked to tease whenever he wanted something. I raised an eyebrow at him and he whined, softly, while he rubbed over my chest. "The coke, Freddie, come on. Where'd you put it, I'll get some ready for you." He smiled, then I pointed to the door.

John got off of my lap and he went to search through my bag for the dime sack of cocaine that I had hidden. We were on and off with drugs, mostly to keep us awake during shows- but we promised each other that we'd never do drugs or drink when we were at home, or with the kids when they came on tour. It was mostly marijuana and cocaine, because John was afraid of anything more than that- he liked them, though, because it was keeping the parent weight off and he had a lot more energy for dancing on stage.