Strangers

Chapter 17: Ignoring People 101

"You're clearly upset about something. Tell me about it, I need something to get my mind off the throbbing in my head and aching of my bones from this fucking flu." She croaks out, quite ferociously for someone who looks like they're dying.

"Mmm, it's just a combination of things really." I shrug, wondering if I should check my phone yet.

"Harry?" She asks.

"Not really, we're fine." As far she knows, Harry and I will always be fine. You tell one direction one thing and suddenly 19 million people know.

"Then what is it?"

"I don't know. Everything. I miss my parents, I feel like I have no friends, I hate my course and I just feel so lost about everything. Like when does the whole finding myself thing happen? I've been trying for years and I still have no idea, like I think maybe instead of finding myself I lost myself and now I can't get back." I strain my voice, burying my head into my pillow in frustration.

"You have me. Like you said you have no friends, I'm your friend." She reminds, nervously.

"Yeah. Thanks." One friend does not exactly make me feel much better. "Lets talk about you. Were you sick all weekend?"

"Yeah basically, I've barely left the room."

"Oh lame. Any goss?"

"Not really. I haven't heard from Niall in a few days..." She says, frowning.

"Oh shit, really? Are you still dming or what because like maybe you just got lost in his dm's, I wouldn't take it too personally, he's a shitty replier." I try to make her feel better.

"Well we're not just DMing anymore, he asked for my number and started texting me and then he just stopped."

"He's been busy, I'm sure he'll text you again." I give her a supportive smile. Why am I being so flipping nice all of a sudden? Maybe because she's the only person who isn't currently harboring some big lie.

"Hmm, why would he though? Like he could have anyone. Don't you ever feel like insecure about Harry? Like why is he with you when he could be with anyone?" She clasps her hand over her mouth the second the words leave her mouth. "I'm so sorry Lola, I didn't mean it that way I just meant..." She rambles, a sick person rambling is actually quite funny.

I just laugh, I have too much anger towards other people at the moment that her slight insult barely registers. "I know what you mean. I think the second you start thinking like that you're kind of fucked. Like I know Harry's not with me because I'm like supermodel pretty, or because I've got big boobs because we both know that's not true. But Harry and I have like an emotional connection that no one could break, no matter how hard some people try. And as easy it would be to not trust him and doubt our relationship constantly, it's kind of easier to just be happy with him? Except for when he really pisses me off." Like now.

"You guys are like, together for good hey? Like you're gonna get married?" The pale faced girl sits up excitedly, clutching her pillow between her arms and leaning against the wall, an excited smile on her face like that of a school aged girl who is about to hear some gossip at 3am at a slumber party.

"I don't know what we're gonna do, I can't imagine being with anyone else though." All this talk of Harry only makes me miss him more which is utterly infuriating because I am supposed to be mad at him. What kind of independent girl would I be if I just caved right away and called him? He needs to know that lying to me is not something I will take lightly and that he can't just fuck my friends to get vengeance. But I want to call him. I miss him, and part of me is thinking I should be making the most of him being in the same country as me because I know there's more tour dates looming ahead in the near future.