Strangers

Chapter 22: Forgiveness

ASHTON POV

"Come over?" I ask, my voice shaky because I'm nervous about what I'm doing. I know I shouldn't, I know this isn't the right way to deal with every thing but I need something to take my mind...my heart, off everything.

"Of course. I'll be there soon." Talia's shrill voice says, too excited.

I toss my phone down onto the mattress with a big huff. What the fuck is wrong with you Ashton Irwin?

3 Days Later

LOLA POV

"Keep it hot, yeah?" I request of Harry as he closes the door to the bathroom and I walk towards the kitchen.

"Oh baby you know I do." He calls and I laugh as I wander past the dining table, trying to remember what I was doing in here.

A message notification draws my attention to the kitchen counter and a quick glance down causes my eyes to widen. I wish I could unread that.

Ash ❤️: I'll call you soon then? I love you so much. Xxxxx

What?

I can't help myself, I pick up Gemma's phone and unlock it, opening the message conversation and scrolling up to the start of their most recent conversation.

Ash ❤️: Gem, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. We can make this work, I've been such a fucking idiot and I miss you so much. I didn't know what I had when I had you and I let you go too easily. Please, I love you. You're the most amazing person in the world, you're the one. I want to fucking marry you, I never want to spend another day being with you.

Gemma; Please stop texting me, this is too confusing.

Ash ❤️: What's confusing? It's only confusing because you're trying to convince yourself against feeling something for me. I love you. I know I fucked up, monumentally and I fucking hate myself for it. Seriously, every day is fucking shit without your good morning messages and your good night messages and I just fucking need you so much.

Gemma: You had me, and you fucking mistreated me.

Good Gemma, good.

Ash ❤️: I know, I'm an idiot but please Gemma, we're meant to be. I know you feel it too, you've always known, I was just too fucking naïve. Please baby, please just give me another chance, tell me what I can do. I will fucking fly back once a week whenever I'm on tour, just to see you. I'll talk to you every single day for 5 hours, I'll send you pictures of me constantly.

Gemma; You should've wanted to do those things before.

Ash ❤️: I did, FUCK I did. I love you so much, I was just scared. You know me, you know how immature I am, you know I'm fucking terrified of commitment. It took me so long to commit to you but it was the best thing I ever did and I can't believe I ruined it. I'm such an idiot, God I hate myself so much right now, I just want to die, I never wanted to hurt you and I did so what's the point in my existence if it's only going to inflict pain.

Gemma: What? Ash this isn't fair. Don't say things like that. Please.

Ash ❤️: I'm done with her. It's over, I never want to be with anyone else ever again. Only you.

Ash ❤️: I need to talk to you, I need to hear your voice, even if you're angry and fucking hate me I just need that, or just to hear you breathe. I love you so much. Please, let me fix this. It'll be better than before, it'll be fucking perfect and I won't let anything get in the way of us.