END OF INNOCENCE (KNJ)

FIRST KISS

I thought you were healing me but no, you broke me even more

Y/N:

I stood there for a while frozen in shock. His lips were soft and warm. His lips felt perfect as they were made for kissing only. I closed my eyes in bliss for a moment. My body felt like it was on fire and I had this weird feeling. My hands travelled on their own consent and gripped on his hair. He groaned when I gripped his hair.

He grabbed my ass and squeezed it lightly making me gasp. He showed his tongue in my mouth and started exploring it. I pulled on his hair unable to breath. I think he got the signal cause his lips left my mouth and travelled down to my neck. He bit slightly on my neck where he should mark me. I gasped in shock and at that moment I realized what is happening. It was like bucket of cold water was dropped on me.

He was going down further leaving wet kisses on my neck. I took my hands away from his hair and pushed him lightly placing them on his chest. But he didn't move so I pushed him away hard with force. He fell on the ground not expecting me to push that hard. The only thing we could hear is our breathing. I don't know what to feel. My emotions were all over the place. But I know one thing for sure is what happened is not right.

He got up and looked at my neck where he gave me hickey. "Y/n I-" I didn't let him finish as I ran past him out of the door. He didn't stop me this time and I didn't stop running. I kept running until I reached the deserted place in the woods. I panted leaning down placing my hands on knees trying to catch my breath due to how fast I ran. I could hear my own hear beating so loudly.

Once I calmed down, I got angry. He took my first kiss without my consent. I wanted kill him for that but at the same time I felt so happy after the kiss. I cursed myself for feeling like that. Its just the bond messing with my head. I felt mad at myself for how I gave in to his kiss. I should have had more control on myself. Thinking about his lips still made me all giddy. I closed my eyes trying to clear my head.

This is not how I wanted things to turn out. I wanted to keep my distance from him but I ended up like this. He might think he has some control on my emotions. I sighed closing my eyes trying to ignore all the thoughts. But every time I close my eyes, I remember the kiss we had. It felt makes me all tingly. I opened my eyes when I sensed someone presence.

"What do you want now?" I heard him sigh before sitting next to where I was laying down. "I wanted to apologize" I scoffed not looking at him. "Are you really sorry?" I know he is lying. he doesn't feel bad for what he did. "I am not sorry about the kiss" I glared at him. "I am sorry cause it wasn't at the right time" I closed my eyes not wanting to see him. I wanted to kill him but at the same time I want to kiss the sense out of him.

I scolded myself for the thoughts I had. "Y/n, what I did is wrong. But it's just I couldn't control myself when I see you close with other males." I chuckled sarcastically. "You don't have the right to feel that way" he didn't say anything kept staring at me. "Can't you give me second chance?" I sat up and looked at him surprised. "I know I am not the best mate out there but I learned from my mistakes. I am willing to show you I have changed and I will do whatever it takes to make you like me" he slowly took my hands in his and looked at me.

"Please just forgive me" I looked at his eyes which were filled with tears. "Its not that easy Namjoon" I took my hands away from his and his eyes showed hurt and pain at my rejection. For a second, I felt guilty for what I did but I changed my expression to blank not wanting to show him any reaction. "Tell me what I can do to make you believe me again then?" his voice sounded so desperate and few tears fell down his eyes. This is the first time seeing him this vulnerable. I am seeing lot of emotions of him today.