It was nearing the end of March before I finally plucked up the courage to make my way into the jewellery store. It felt strange. It was perfectly normal for a man to pick out an engagement ring, but I felt I would be critizied. Tell to get away, people being homophobic about my disicions and life choices.
"Um.. Do you have any en-engagement bands?" I asked the store clerk, him an older type of man with white hair.
"Yes, we do," he said, his hands floating over the cases infront of him. Silver bands and gold bands. Some simple but some engraved and shaped, with diamonds incrusted.
"That one," I said, pointing to a plain silver band, the clerk getting it and putting it into my hands, letting me see it with a better look.
Simple but it would have so much meaning tied to the lityle bit of metal, me just needing to plan this so well, needing it not to make Alex think I'm rushing into anything. But I have thought long and hard the past few weeks, just knowing it was the right thing for me to do. I just needed him to be in my life, totally be my life. He would be mine and no one else's.
I walked out of the shop with a smile on my face as I put the little box in my jeans pocket, walking round the corner to see Alex.
It kind of shocked me seeing him so suddenly, me thinking he would be at work. I guess I got my times wrong or he was a bit earlier than planned.
"Hey, baby," he said, wrapping his arms around my waist for a quick hug, a dazzling smile on his face.
"Why you so happy?" I asked, feeling me lips just curl that bit more jyst because he seemed happy.
"Green Day are playing in town tonight. The guy that owns the place they're playing at knows my dad, and he gave him tickets," he said, him nearly squealing in excitement as he started jumping up and down slightly.
"Is that so?" I asked, him nodding vigoriously. God, he idolized that band. Just wanted to be like them and just know them and stuff. I guess hewent through a stage in his teenage years where he just loved them but Alex never got sick of them. Never grew tired of listening to their songs. Never got less excited every time they were played on the raidio. I guess it was the same with me with Blink 182, me dancing like crazy every time I heard All The Small Things. I actually learned how to play the guitar just because I wanted to be able to try to presue a dream, but sometimes dreams have to stay dreams and just be hobbies.
The truth is, since I was able to play the piano, I always wanted to be a famous musician. I changed my interest to playing the acoustic guitar when I listened to rock and pop punk, learning some of the songs just from listening to the songs. I always wanted that, to be like the bands that were famous and loved by thousands, but I felt it would never ever happen.
It probably was one in a million it would.
"So you wanna go with me?" Alex asked, taking my hand in his, walking in the direction of our house.
"Sure," I said, smiling at my thoughts and ideas.
---
Alex sang every lyric of the first song as we stood front row, his hands just retching out to Billie Joe, so caught up in the excitement. He looked adorable being so obsessive and, I guess, fangirly. Well fanguying in his case.
I just nodded to the beat, listening to the strums of the guitar, just trying to calm Alex down too.
"I love you, Billie," Alex screamed once the song was over.
"I love you too, man," Billie Joe said into the microphone, Alex nearly dying on the spot. The band started a slow song, my suddenly more concious of the lump in my throat and the box in my pocket.
I shyed away from Alex, to the side of the crowd, the security guard letting me past the barrier quickly, me waiting back stage.
"Somebody would like to say a few words to a special someone right now," Billie said, him standing back from the mic as he beckoned me over. I took a deep breath and then let my legs take my out onto the stage. It felt like a dream, it felt as if Alex really was the only one there. The silence was beautiful.
"Alex," I said, hearing my voice echo as it bounced around the room through the speakers. "I would like to take this time to tell you how much I truely love you. I want you to know how much I care for you. I want you to know how much you mean to me. But there is only one way I can think of to do this. Alex, could you come up here, please?"
Alex seemed a bit confused, his mouth opening and closing before he went through the crowd and to the barrier, walking out and onto the stage. He just stood with his fingers tangled as his hands infront of his chest, him biting his lip.
I took the mic one hand, turning to him.
"Alex, you are my world. I would, and I mean it, I would nothing without you. You're my Sally to my Jack. We're like peanut butter and jelly. Marshmallow fluff.. to my mouth," I said, Alex laughing at last part.
"Anyway, you're my everything, and I was just wondering.." I said before putting the mic back on the stand, getting down on one knee slowly, hearing the loud cheers and claps as I pulled the box, opening it infront of Alex.
"Will you promise to be mine, Alex?" I whispered, Alex tearing up, nodding and pulling me up to him. I kind of lost my balance, but nonetheless, my lips found his, his hands cupping my cheeks as his kissed me, saying 'yes' every few seconds.
"Yes," I said, sliding the ring onto his finger.
"I love you," Alex whispered, his lips still on mine.
"Give it up for the happy couple, guys," I heard Billie Joe say into the microphone, and the crowd was off again. We went back stage, watching the band for the rest of the set from there, Alex and I just cuddling on a couch as he murmured along with words, me knowing fuck all. I just looked at him, knowing that this moment couldn't get any better.
---
Heavey breathing as we kissed in the back of the car after the show. We drank a little bit too much with the band, gidding and giggling. His feathery lips just quickly kissed mine, little gasps as he felt that oxygen getting scarce. The windows were fogging up, me and Alex drenched in sweat as he made a start at taking my jacket off, my feeling his hips thrust into mine.
"Alex," I groaned, giving him little bites on his neck, him whimpering at the slight pain. His fingers tangled up within my hair, him pulling me closer and closer with the other. His legs wrapped around my waist as I pulled off my tee shirt, fixing our lips together once more.
"Jack," Alex whimpered against my lips. "Jack. Oh, Jack."
"Shit, I got a boner," I said with a smirk.
"I came get rid of it for you if you want," Alex said before we locked lips again, his kisses rough and crushing.
His hands trailed down to my waist, unbuckling the belt and then letting his hands slide under the waistband as he started to stroke.
Oh my God, I going to go any second. I didn't even need too much sexually physical contact to reach my high, I just am super sensitive. It may be a pro, but it may be a con.
We rolled off of each other, just sitting in the back seats, Alex rolling down the window. Sweat was pouring down our faces. I pulled my shirt back on, forgetting to buckle my belt, hopping out of the car, Alex getting out of the car and starting to follow me.
"Where're you going?" Alex asked, running along side me.
"We aren't going to have sex in a car. We have to get home first."
"Me?"
"Use me as much as you would like," I said with a wink, hopping into the first cab I saw, Alex following me.
Dirty sex. Rough and dirty. Alex is so not innocent in any such way. It was imposdible for me to think so anymore.
