Chapter Thirty Eight

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I felt numb as I sat in the car, Alex driving toward the state hospital. The last time I had been here was when I was close to death. It was probably four months ago, maybe five, I don't know. My dad, he was dead in hospital. Had something happened while I was gone? Was no one able ro reach me? It was just so uncalled for, untimely for all the information I had. My dad was in his fifties but that didn't mean he was extremely old and would just casually die. Something must of happened.

As soon as Alex pulled in on the edge of the path, I could see my sister, May, waiting for me. I ran up to her, her clutching me as to hug me, me finally letting out sobs, the tears streaming a but more.

"What happened to dad?" I asked, her just hushing me, trying to calm and comfort me. Joe was close behind, him with just a line on his lips, him not letting his emotions get the better of him.

I hadn't seen my siblings in such a long time actually. Joe was living in New York, and I forgot where May was, but it doesn't matter. I only saw them last on The Christmas before this year's, which I way over a year.

I guess it was because of our growing up situation that we were never extremely close. Joe never talked to me or May, just staying away, with friends and partying, probably doing things he shouldn't of. May was there, but very quiet. She would just play with her dolls idly, not really bothering as so. She told me that she was there for me, but then she didn't know that at one point, I needed her, my father and Joe so much, but I didn't really let them know, Joe going to his parties as usual and then once May started high school, so did she. My father was at home but quite nonexistant, just as noticable as a crack in the wall but having much importance to give me. He was important to me, but I guess I hated him in some way. He always worked, letting me alone. Letting me alone with thoughts, to start to make the little suicide bomb.

"He was just going home late one night, getting mugged, banging his head off the curb. We have been trying to reach you for so long. Even left messages on your telephone," May said, looking at me with weak lips, the frown easily letting through.

"I was out of state. And it seemed Alex wasn't answering those messages. You wouldn't of been able to reach me anyway, I left my phone behind," I said.

"Irresponcible and reckless," Joe spat. "We have been here for weeks, us being told the life support was to be shut off. You are just a little kid away with your fairies. Why weren't you here?"

"I had personal affairs. I just needed to get away," I said, not really liking how pig ignorant he was. He was never this way when we were younger. So much could of caused his change.

"You can tell us in full," he said, hands in pockets.

"My father just died. Your father just died. I don't actually matter at this moment in time, do I?" I yelled, raising my hands to him as I pulled away from May, Alex out of the car, just staring at the commotion.

"Of course you matter, Jack," May exclaimed, me shrugging her hands which attempted to grab onto my shoulders.

"Why don't you matter then?" Joe asked, a devious smirk on his smug face. For my brother, he was a complete and utter prick. He was one of the biggest assholes I knew. I don't know why the fuck he was being so arrogant in even times like this.

"Just fuck off, Joe," I said, flipping him off and walking up to the hospital enterance, Alex and May following, but not Joe. Joe just went off with himself, not even caring to go on.

May showed me the way to the hospital morge, it certained off, bodies just in metal cabinets.

"Jack, I don't really want to be here," Alex whispered into my ear, him sounding so frightened.

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