Nightmares. I hated them. They filled your mind during your sleeping hours and try and hurt you, scare you or just brake you down. Nightmares were never heart warming tales, ruining whole day's thoughts and actions, planning my moods and physcological state.
I didn't get why I had to be stuck with this one nightmare. It hurt to much to think back about it, it seeming to just be usual for it to come around at least once during the night.
It was paculiar for it seemed so normal at first. It is always Alex and I sitting on the couch, it a different seating place each time, us sometimes even cuddling in my dreams, but it isn't nessesarily important to why the dream leaves me so boggled.
Alex is there and then the next second he just flashes away, me unsure of what happens to him when he does dissappear off my dreams.
I would consider the dissappearing part just a bit mind boggling but not nessasarily scary. But what nearly always happens next is that Alex does wake up in the middle of the night, complaining of having nightmares.
This night was no different. I was shaken roughly awake, his choked sobs so sad to listen to. I just wanted to cut off my ears and hug him until he was okay, not in a state of any sort.
"Jack, please wake up," Alex sobbed, my eyes fluttering open to see the darkness right infront of me, barely able to see Alex beside me, not even able to see his tears that were washing down his cheeks.
I sat myself up, getting ready for the usual hug. For some reason I had always been interestedcin knowing who or what his nightmares were about, but I had never asked, for the only day I did ask, he said he didn't want to take about it, me taking it that he'd never want to really tell me.
But I felt like I had a right to know why he was blubbering like a little girl as if she banged her knee.
"Alex, what was wrong in your dream?" I asked.
"Jack, you just dissppeared. It was so realistic. We were both in bed, me staring at you for I was restless and somehow you just suddenly dissppeared from my sights. I don't know how much this dream has reoccured," Alex said.
"I've had the same dream but of course you a lot during the past couple of months. I guess it's a kind of unsure type of thing. As in 'he doesn't love me so why is he here?' type of thing thing. Do you get me?" I asked, him nodding, but I was uncertain.
"We are just lying here, happy. Smiling at each other as if it is our only perpose in life. But suddenly your smile falls and all the windows break. The crashing noise wakes me up most of the time now because I know what was going to always happen next," Alex said.
"I disappear?"
He nodded. "The glass hits you, just you, and you disappear as if you are just a ghost trying to get through but can't really make it. It scares me and makes me think of a lot of things, Jack."
My breath grew was so heavy and loud at this point. "Alex, you have to know I'm always-"
"But you weren't," Alex snapped. "You weren't always here. You die in my dreams and it gives me the impression that you could of been dead somewhere. The wall paper peels the slightest bit more the longer this dream goes on. I feel my dream repersents you braking. Us braking."
"Us?" I repeated his word, raising a brow.
"Jack, you being in your moods does affect me a lot more than you would think in your little depressed world," Alex told me. "But let's not start off another bout of this." He stopped just to force a smile. " You know how easy it is."
"I guess," I murmured, slipping out of under the duvet, a few stray feathers floating down to the floor as I slowly sat up. "So, I guess we should get new sheets .. and pillows."
