Keith One Shots

~Coming Out Pt. 2/2~

So this chapter was requested by thatgirlwhoisemo so yea I hope you like it. It's just Keith telling a load of gay jokes. I don't know what else to say.

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The four paladins fought the best they could whilst Keith lead the way into the controls room. The mission was basically for Keith to disable the controls whilst the others distracted the soldiers. They were having difficulty clearing a path for Keith and Keith could tell they were all starting to get frustrated. Keith soon figured that if anyone was going to cheer them up, it was gonna be him.

Keith lunged at a robot and shouted...

"MOVE I'M GAY!"

He sliced the robot and turned to the others seeing that they were dying of laughter.

"Whaaat? He wouldn't get out of my wayyy" Keith said in a whiny voice.

"Keith, concentrate on the mission" Shiro said, trying to stop chuckling. Suddenly a galra soldier appeared out of nowhere, standing in front of Keith. Th soldier lunged at Keith and Keith barely dodged it.

"You paladins are fools if you think you can defeat us! If you think that you'll destroy this ship then you clearly aren't thinking straight" The soldier said, chasing after Keith.

"PFFT! sTRAIGHT!" Keith shouted, running away from the galra that was starting to gain on him. "Girl, I am never thinking straight"

The other paladins continued to fight but were having trouble due to the fact that they were laughing so hard.

"Oh my god Keith you're gonna die" Lance said, dying of laughter.

"You're correct, blue paladin. This one is going to die. May god have no mercy on your soul" the soldier said.

"Oh well apparently I'm already a sin so.." Keith sassed, almost getting his head chopped off. He ducked under and did a roll away, climbing up on top of something that looked similar to a healing pod. The soldier stood below him and kept trying to jump up to him, barely missing.

"Stop this homophobiaaaa" Keith said, standing on top of the pod and looking down on the soldier smugly.

"Keith you're supposed to be shutting down the system" Shiro said, holding in his laughter.

"I'm stuck" Keith said.

"I thought you were gay" Lance said through chuckles. The soldiers were starting to get confused by the paladins chance in mood.

"I'm a stuck gay. Please help" Keith said. "Oh wait wait I got it"

Keith jumped down, landing on the soldier, squatting down to the ground.

"'I'M GAY!" He shouted. The others began dying of laughter again. Keith made his way to the controls panel and began looking for a way to shut down the system.

"How does one turn this thing off" Keith said, aware of the soldier getting up again.

"Figure it out" Lance said.

"Should I use my gayard?"

"Oh my god your what?!" Lance said, bursting into a fit of laughter again.

"My gayard" Keith said, noticing Shiro roll his eyes and hide a smile.

"Just slice it straight in the centre" Shiro said.

"Shiro what have you done" Pidge said, knowing what was coming next.

"I'm afraid I am not suitable for this role as I cannot do anything straight therefore this role would be more suitable for someone that does not own a gayard and is straight" Keith said, making everyone start laughing again.

"Oh my god Keith just destroy the controls" Pidge said.

"Oki doki loki" Keith said, slicing the controls panel in two.

"This man is so gay" Pidge said, face palming.

"I think that's clear now, Pidge" said Hunk.

"Stop bullying me" Keith said, pouting slightly.

"We're not bullying you we're ju- KEITH LOOK OUT!"

Keith turned around to see the soldier's blade hit him in the shoulder, making him shout in pain. He crumpled to the floor, clutching his shoulder. Shiro quickly ran to his side, stabbing the soldier.

"Jesus Keith you're gonna get yourself killed" He said, kneeling beside Keith.

"Ow..." Keith mumbled, standing up. The blade had shattered the armour around his shoulder and he had a deep cut.

"Did you seriously forget about the soldier because you were too busy making gay jokes?" Lance said, raising his eyebrows.

"No!" Keith shouted, feeling slightly embarrassed. Blood was already trickling down his armour. "Let's just get moving"

"We can't really take out the ship if we're a paladin down" Shiro said.

"Isn't it already down, though? The controls panel is completely shattered so it wont be going anywhere" Lance pointed out. Shiro thought for a moment before nodding.

"Okay. Let's head back then" He said. "Keith do you need any help?"

"I hurt my shoulder, not my leg, Shiro" Keith mumbled, clenching his teeth slightly at the pain in his shoulder.

"Okay then. Let's go. You know this is why we don't make jokes during missions, Keith" Shiro started in his dad voice.

"I was just trying to cheer you all up. You all looked really stressed and like you were on the verge of screaming. I wanted to lighten the mood" Keith explained, smiling slightly. Everyone smiled back at him.

"Thanks, Keith"

As they were walking there was an awkward silence. Everyone had something they were thinking about. That was until, someone broke the silence.

"Is it homophobic if I hate myself?"

Sorry it's a little short. I had to text people because I couldn't think of enough gay jokes. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed!

Words: 862

~Author Mill