Endless Summer🌞

46: Me before You

24th May, 2017.
Paris, France.
It was a dark moonless night and the sky was set for a downpour. There was an uncomfortable and eerie stillness in the woods. She was alone, but she could hear the cries of the owls. She roved around the wilderness, aiming to find a way out or at least meet another living of her own specie.

And then she heard another cry, not that or an owl or a cricket, but the yawling of a wolf. The sound kept getting closer and closer and closer, until the monster appeared and chased after her. She ran, with pants and sweats, her heart beating at an extreme rate before she fell, and it caught up with her. And with another terrifying howl, the wolf jumped on her, ready to devour her down into bits and pieces............

"Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'un." Hanan uttered, waking up from her slumber. She was awake all night, but somehow fell asleep on the prayer mat after subhi. And by Allah, she wished she had stayed awake rather than falling asleep and having such a nightmare. It was horrific.

She muttered some more duas, before checking on the mini bedside clock, it was fifteen minutes past ten a.m and she needed to be at the airport by 1pm.

The airport!

Ya Allah, her decisions terrified her. Is she going to tell Muhsin that she bought her ticket and she is leaving or is she going to leave without uttering a word? Is she going to Abi's crib when she arrive or is she heading straight to Shafiqs' mansion? If she chose the latter, is she going to cry and tell Maama the truth or is she going to pretend all is well? Will she ever visit Ummi or will she just move on with her life? Will her decision break Maama's heart or will she understand the plight of her child?

And she wasn't sure about anything anymore. But despite knowing this might be a devastating twist to her story, she was determined to take that step, not because she loved Muhsin no more, not because she didn't want to fight for their relationship, but because she was freaking tired of all the recent events, tired of worrying about Alex, tired of worrying about Huda, and tired of worrying about what the future holds. She needed a break to gather her thoughts.

She didn't want to lie to herself that she wasn't hurt by what Muhsin did to her last night, it shattered her that he could hit her with all those accusations without an ounce of trust. When you go out of your way for someone's sake and you get distrust as the payback, it scars you for life. She lied to his face, that was so wrong of her and she'd forever live to regret that, but maybe, just maybe he could have tried to understand why she had to do what she did.

But maybe she was being selfish about it all, maybe he did the right thing and maybe she and everyone else in the world would have done the same in such situation. But lately, all she want to be is selfish, to concentrate on herself alone. She had been worrying about others all her life. Sacrificed her 17 year old love for her family's sake, forgot herself and what she wanted for Muhsin's sake, became focused on breaking her relationship to mend Huda's, and now, became a liar to protect her husband and his valuable possession. All her life, it has never been her, it was always the people that mattered to her. And for once, she wanted to shine the spotlight on herself alone, and even if she happen to regret this, she wouldn't forget the one and only time that it was her before everyone else.

And to do all that, she had to hate Muhsin for not trusting her even when she knew she was lying to herself. That was it, Muhsin made her that way and she was leaving because he did. She was lying to herself and she knew that, but it was him, it had to be him.
*********

Hanan wheeled out her luggage from her room down to the living room downstairs. It was five minute past 12 and she was all set to leave for the airport. She wondered whether Muhsin was home or not. But hearing the sounds in the kitchen, she knew the Winfreys were already doing their usual chores.