Filling The Void | ✔️

Filling The Void | Chapter Nine| This Time

R Y D E R

When Monday rolled around I was tired, partly from lacrosse practices and also because of the nights spent on the phone with Natalee.

Due to her and I kind of sorta getting back together, and me not wanting everyone to know yet I had insisted she not come over for a while. At least until I found a way to tell Kaitlyn.

She was already mad at me for speaking to Natalee in the first place, I didn't need to make it worse.

I was though, and I knew that.

This past summer had induced major heartbreak for me and it was all Natalee's doing - but people deserved second chances. Besides, I loved her once. I could love her again - did I even stop in the first place?

"Hey!" she chimes, buckling up her seat belt as she side glances at Aspen in the driver's seat.

I watch from the back as her and Aspen exchange hellos. For a quick second, Aspen's eyes find mine in the mirrors but then she tips it up, choosing to focus on the road.

We drive, and for a while, my ego shrinks as I realize I'm driving around in a pink Cadillac with girls who don't even want me here. Why didn't I ever start riding with my friends?

Soon Aspen takes me from my thoughts.

"So, Ryder I meant to ask you how lacrosse was going?"

She was trying to include me and the second she had, Kaitlyn arms folded across her chest.

"Um, yeah," I start, losing control of my words as I say, "It's going well. Natalee's gonna be at every game since she's cheering now so that's good."

I'd said it fast but everyone freezes and silence fills the car. Alarms go off in my head as I see Kaitlyn's eyes narrow.

I want to see Aspen's face, I need to analyze the outcome of the mistake I'd just made - but all I can see are her brows furrowing as she processes the new information.

Kaitlyn scoffs, interrupting the silence, "Who let her on the team? Wasn't her first day yesterday? What about tryouts? Those were this summer."

Her questions come spitting out as her posture changes, but all I can focus on is trying to read Aspen - she hasn't said anything.

My sister wasn't Natalee's biggest cheerleader so to speak. When we had been in Georgia Natalee had been friends with her first before ever dating me. When she had dropped  Kaitlyn to hang out with me it wasn't just the leaving that ticked my sister off. It was the constant antagonizing.

Natalee would throw food at her, treat her horribly and all I did was stand there like an idiot.

I close my eyes softly. Here I was, letting it happen again.

Before I let that thought slip, I shake my head. It would be different this time. Natalee was different and I'd seen that this weekend when she was sweet and funny. I'd seen the Natalee I fell in love with.

Aspen clears her throat awkwardly, bringing me back to the present to realize we had arrived at school.

All she says as she removes the keys and grabs her bag is, "See you guys later."

I hop out after her but just as I shut the door Kaitlyn grabs the hoodie of my sweatshirt, pulling me backward.

Not even five seconds go by before Kaitlyn begins whisper-shouting at me, "What the heck Ryder?!"

"What?" I ask, between her snarls and submissive comments.

She laughs, folding her arms over her chest as we walk a good distance behind Aspen.

"Oh please, don't act like you're not obsessed with Aspen! You like her!"

My eyes widen at her accusation and Aspens face flashes across my mind. I shake my head slowly, "No. I like Natalee, she's my girlfriend."

At my words, Kaitlyn's eyes go wide, and in a matter of seconds, her hand makes contact with my face, a splotch of sting tingling my cheek.

I deserved it, but as I looked into my little sisters watery eyes I saw more than just her being upset at me...I saw conflict. She was conflicted as to what to say and that was something that had never happened with her.

Not only was I treating Aspen horribly, but I had left Kaitlyn's feelings out of the picture when I had made my decision to get back together with Natalee. She was the one girl that could affect her so much she'd stay in her room all day.

I was a terrible brother.

Watching her jaw click, one tear escaping she wipes at it harshly, "You're a jerk."

The word hit harder than any other thing she could say, and as she stalked away I thought about how long she'd go without talking to me. In Georgia, it had lasted half a month but that was when I'd misjudged. This time I'd disregarded everything that'd happened.

Feeling the tingly feeling on my cheek I release air through my teeth, spinnign to walk slowly to class.