Filling The Void | ✔️

Filling The Void | Chapter Fifteen | Will you?

It was quiet at my house. Sebastian on the floor in front of me, Kaitlyn sprawled out on the couch with her eyes to the ceiling.

No one had said one word about what happened at the party in over ten minutes because unfortunately when we'd gotten to Sebastian he'd said, How is it in there?

Let's just say, it wasn't the right time to be asking. I however had been quiet for other reasons.

I'd been accused of telling Ryder what to do, which was something I had never done. However, according to him my eyes were the culprit.

"I'm so sorry Asp." Kaitlyn sighs, swinging her legs to the floor and pursing her lips at me.

I shake my head, "It's fine, really. I think if I've learned anything from this it's that I'm not a party girl."

Sebastian snickers at this, taking my hand in his - which seemed a lot easier to do since the game.

"I don't like party girls anyway."

This makes me laugh and after a couple of hours of movies and ice cream, Sebastian had to go.

Surprisingly enough I found myself sad to see him leave, either way, I walked him to the door with ease.

"Thanks for sticking around. I'm sure if you hadn't I'd be enduring quite the revenge plan."

He nods, "No problem but uh- I actually wanted to ask you something."

I wait and when he looks back at the sleeping Kaitlyn on the couch I get the hint, closing the door behind me as I step out onto the porch.

I take in the cool salty air, folding my arms over my chest as the breeze blows past us, "What's up?"

He looks down at me for a second before his mouth tugs up into a smile, "I wanted to um-" He scratches the back of his neck, "I wanted to ask if you'd be my girlfriend."

My eyes pop open in shock and I clear my throat to try to calm my racing heart.

He swallows, his Adam's apple bobbing as he says, "If it's not the right time for you, you totally don't have to answer."

We'd only been on a couple of dates before if you counted lacrosse as a date. But in my head dating had always been needing enough experience with one person to decide if you liked them - and I liked Sebastian.

"Yes," I whisper, my shy introverted personality shining through when I'd rather it not. In an attempt to bring myself back I laugh, "So, does being your girlfriend come with a complimentary present too?"

This time his eyes meet mine when he laughs and he shakes his head, "I guess we'll have to see."

After saying goodbye and going through a pained - should we kiss or not - moment, I go back inside, finding Kaitlyn still knocked out.

As I clean up some of the DVD's I get the strangest feeling and find myself checking to see if I'd locked the door.

Some would say it was intuition because if I told you what I saw next you'd agree.

Ryder's car pulling into my driveway.

Fear ran through me, not for myself but him. He was drunk out of his mind right now.

I flung the door open, closing it behind me in a flash before running over to his window. I did not want Kaitlyn to see him.

"Ryder what are you-"

"I made a mistake." He groans, slamming his head on the wheel.

The horn goes off and I jump, expecting him to lift his head. He hasn't, so I reach in and lift it for him.

"Ryder you shouldn't be driving right now." I sigh, bringing my hands away from his head. Though, they don't make it far because he grabs them, through the window.

"I know I shouldn't but I needed to tell you that I was sorry. I was dumb and not thinking."

Glancing at the car and his messy hair I laugh lightly, "You're not thinking right now hun."

Instead of laughing with me he closes his eyes, "I'm ruining my life again aren't I?"

"Well, if you've done it before then yes."

He stays silent and releases his hold on my hands. I slide them out of his, resting them on the open window.

He doesn't look the best so after looking toward the front door and finding it still shut I sigh, "Get out Ry."

He nods as if accepting punishment as a little boy and steps out. I grab his bicep to keep him up when he wavers and shut the door behind him.

"Let's walk alright?"

So we walk, the cool air surrounding us as we make our way to his house, him wearing a t-shirt and I a tank top. If I 'd known I'd be spending so much time outside tonight I'd have worn a jacket.

"Thank you. You don't have to do this." He says quietly.

I wave him off, "It's alright, me and my pretty eyes don't mind."

I smirk and he matches my expression, shaking his head as he says, "God, that's so embarrassing."

"Why? I get it all the time."

When I say these words we fall silent, me realizing why he'd be embarrassed and him wishing he were dead.

"You don't Ryder." I say, trying to convince myself, "You're drunk - and besides!" I nudge him with my shoulder, "You've got Natalee. She's great and stuff."

My voice grows distance as we wrap around his block.

He runs a hand through his hair, "Aspen she's not great." He stops and I watch him kneel down on the curb, his legs outstretched into the empty street.

I join him without hesitation and look down at a piece of leftover chalk on the sidewalk.

"I know I've made mistakes, lots in the past couple days. I just don't know how to fix them because every time I try it gets worse."

I scoff, "Maybe you should try when you're not drunk."

Nodding he hums in agreement, "Another mistake I've made. I could get kicked off the team if coach finds out."

I twist my mouth in thought, eyes now on the night sky as it hangs overhead.

I thought about what I'd tell Kaitlyn, wondering how a friend would help another friend because the surge of physical tension between Ryder and me has my heart doing that warm fuzzy thing and it's upsetting.

I'd just agreed to be Sebastian's girlfriend and here I was sitting with the guy I had been mad crushing on for half my life. When my mom died everything was put on pause.

It seemed like now, everything was trying to catch up.

In a way though, a mad crush always beat the nice guy.

"Start with Kaitlyn, Ryder. You've hurt her. You got back with Natalee and didn't even ask how she felt about it. Not to mention what you said tonight."

"Yeah. even though I can't remember, somehow I know I was a crap brother."

"That you were."

We watch the party filter out where his house lays, only a couple of homes down. People are talking, helping clean up and heading home to crash and wake up with a hangover.

"So we cool then?" He asks, gesturing between us.

I shrug, remembering what he said. I wanted to pry, see what he had really meant when he'd been drunk rambling but instead, I settled with, "Yeah, we're cool."

Okay, how are we feeling?

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