"Get Me Out Of My Head"

1

*Frank's P.O.V*

I was going to do it, soon. I really, really, desperately wanted him to be mine. Legally.

I came home to an extremely quiet house. I guess it's better than yesterday. Yesterday I came home to Gerard crying.

"Gee?" I called for him. I didn't get an answer. "Honey, are you home?" I asked as I walked into the living room. Gerard was laying on the couch asleep. I sighed, looking at him. His sketchbook was on the floor. I went over to the couch, picked up the sketchbook, put a blanket over Gerard, then kissed his forehead.

I walked into the kitchen, hoping to find coffee already made. Of course there was! I grabbed myself a mug and put the coffee in it. I heard a small whimper coming from the other room. I grabbed my cup and went to the living room.

Gerard wasn't awake, thank god. He needed this. He needed to sleep. He doesn't anymore and I can't help but worry about him. He doesn't have a job. And I have to call him every hour or have Mikey, Bob, or Ray stop by to check on him. It takes so much out of me to take care of him. But he is my best friend, my boyfriend, and I would do anything to take care of him.

He moved on his side, facing me, his black hair in his face. I smiled. He was the most wonderful thing I've ever had. He was so beautiful. I always told him how beautiful he really was to me. But he doesn't believe me when I say it. That's when his thoughts take over and leave him in a path of destruction.

That's when he hits rock bottom. That's when he has the worst break downs. And I fear that time is coming fast.

Gerard began to stir. The sound of him moving broke my train of thought and I focused on him. We made eye contact, I smiled at him.

"Hey. How you feelin'?"

He looked to the side, then back up at me.

-(Remember, I said he hardly talks)-

I went over to him, sitting on my knees next to the couch. "Baby, it's okay. You can talk to me."

He just looked at me, then slowly nodded.

"Do you want anything?"

He shook his head.

I got up, grabbed my mug and went to the kitchen. I was washing out my cup when I heard shuffling behind me. I turned to see Gerard standing in the doorway.

I smiled at him, he returned a small smile.

"Darling, would you like some coffee?" I asked him.

He thought about it for a bit then nodded. I turned around to make him a fresh pot. When it finished, I poured him a cup, then gave it to him. He took it.

"Alright. I'll just be upstairs changing, okay?"

He nodded.

I kissed his cheek then left the room. I went up to our bedroom I shut the door. I really wish he would talk. He had such an amazing voice and it kills me when he doesn't talk.

I took off my shirt, throwing it in the dirty clothes pile. I went to the dresser to find a lounge shirt when I heard a crash come from down stairs. It sounded like glass. I stopped what I was doing and rushed down stairs.

"Gerard?! Are you okay?!" I asked, making my way down the stairs.

He was still in the kitchen. He was emotionless. I looked at the floor, broken porcelain and hot coffee at his feet.

"Did you break it?"

He brought his hands up, they were shaking uncontrollably.

I looked at him. "Gerard, honey, it's okay."

He looked at me, shook his head, then left the room, going upstairs. I followed him.

"Honey, please talk to me." I begged.

He was laying on the bed. He still didn't speak. Like I said, It kills me when Gee doesn't talk.

"Gerard please?!"

"Why? It doesn't matter." His voice was raspy.

"No, no. Baby, it does matter."

"No."

"Gerard,"

"No!" He yelled.

I jumped when he yelled. I know I pushed him too hard. "I-I'm sorry!" I collapsed on his body. I heard him grunt. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" He placed his hand on my back.

See, I wasn't supposed to make him yell, no one was. The doctor said that when he yells, there could be a chance for him to break down. I didn't want that. Sometimes when he did have a break down, the doctor told me to not stop him. I have to leave the room when this happens, it hurts me to see him like that but I still cry because I can hear him.

Gee pulled his hand away. I sat up, looking for a sign that he was going to explode, but there was none. I was relieved with that.

I hope he gets better. I won't be able to live with myself if he took his life due to this.