"Get Me Out Of My Head"

10

*Frank's P.O.V.*

We went to the bedroom, Gerard got into bed. I stood at the foot of it, staring at the sheets.

"Frankie?"

I looked at Gerard, clearly still annoyed and starting to cry again.

"Hey." He got up and wrapped his arms around me, "It's going to be okay."

I nodded. It really wasn't, but-

"Come, darling." He said, dragging me to bed with him.

I took a deep breath. There was a voice in my mind saying, "Take a pillow and a blanket and sleep on the couch downstairs, it's safer."

I climbed into bed with him, trying my best to keep my distance. Gee tried to do the same. I wanted to fall asleep before him, but it was too late. The pills just kicked in and he was now asleep. Soon, he'll be muttering, then talking, then shouting, yelling, screaming in his sleep.

I tried to shut my eyes and sleep but I couldn't keep them closed. I was scared. What if he hurt me?

I did my best to go to sleep. And soon enough, I did.

***

He screamed and yelled. I jolted awake.

"No, this can't be happening!" I said to myself.

I turned over to see him. His face was tear stained, he balled the sheets in his fists, he said things. I placed a hand on his shoulder, hoping it would calm him down.

That's when his hand grabbed my wrist and squeezed. I tried to pull my wrist back, but he squeezed harder. I tried to pry his figures off of me, but I couldn't.

"Ow! Fuck! LET GO!" I screamed, knowing he couldn't hear me.

I panicked. I usually don't, but this time I did.

Gerard shouted something. It was almost like he was answering me, "I CAN'T!"

I tried to pull my wrist back again, this time he let go. I got off the bed, picked up the phone and called Mikey.

He answers on the forth ring. "Hello?"

"Mikey, please, Gerard took his sleeping pills a-and he's sc-screaming, and he h-hurt me! I can't! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!"

"Okay, okay, calm down. I'll be over in a few. Relax Frank." With that, he hung up.

I walked over to Gerard's side of the bed and sat on the floor. He was crying. I wanted to hold him but I couldn't.

I heard a knock on the front door and went to it. I opened it to let Mikey in, tears still falling from my eyes.

"Tell me what happened." He said.

"We went to bed, He screamed, I woke up, I tried to comfort him, he grabbed my wrist a-and wouldn't l-let go!" I cried.

Mikey pulled me in for a hug. "Okay, okay. Frank, I want you to get a pillow and a blanket and sleep on the couch, okay?"

I nodded.

"Good. I'll stay here for a while."

I did what I was told to do and laid down on the couch. I don't think my body can take the pain of anything right now.

***

I woke up and heard movement in the kitchen. I walked in and saw Gerard making coffee. He turned to look at me.

"Hey!" He smiled and hugged me.

I didn't say anything, I hugged back.

"You okay?"

I nodded.

"So, uh- What happened last night?"

"Nothing." I said.

"No, something did happen. Just tell me."

"You were crying, you yelled you screamed, you-" I stopped. I remembered how he held my wrist. How bad it hurt. How it was probably bruised at the moment. "You scared me. I called Mikey and he stayed here for a bit."

"Oh?"

"Yeah." I looked down.

"Is that it?"

I nodded, feeling bad that I was lying to him but I couldn't tell him he hurt me.

The both of us sat down at the table. I tried to avoid his eyes.

"Frank, you're not telling me everything."

"Yes I am." I lied.

"No, you're not. And I can tell. Please, just tell me!" He begged.

I still couldn't tell him. I didn't want him to hate himself. It really wasn't his fault that he hurt me. I came up with something to say.

"I- I think that you should get off the pills. They destroy you. And you and I both know they do nothing for you."

He took my hand across the table. "Darling, we'll make it."

I just looked at him, no real expression on my face. After a while, I got up. "I have to take a shower. I'll be back soon."

I got my stuff ready for a shower. I walked into the bathroom, stripped, and got in. The hot water felt good hitting my back.

After I washed, I looked at my wrist. There were prints from where Gerard had grabbed me. It looked like it did bruise a bit.

I had to get out today. I had to focus on something else. If this hasn't killed me yet, then it will soon.