"Get Me Out Of My Head"

3

*Gerard's P.O.V.*

I stayed up for the rest of the night drawing.

Frank's alarm went off at 7 am. He woke up and turned it off, then turned to face me.

"Oh. You're awake." He spoke.

I nodded.

"How long have you been awake?"

I looked at him with a face that said, "you already know that."

"Gee, baby, you have to sleep."

I looked back at my sketchbook. I didn't want to sleep. I knew that when I did, something was always there, something always wanted to get me.

Last night, my thoughts corrupted my mind. I remember screaming at them to shut up, leave me alone, and to go away. I remember Frank's face through all of it. I saw his bravery of not giving up on me. But also, with that, I saw fear. He was scared I was going to hurt him. If I ever did hurt Frank, I would make sure it would never happen again.

Frank got up and went to the dresser to find clothes. "Gee?" He turned.

I looked up at him.

"Darling, why don't you come with me to work? So I know you'll be okay." He said.

I thought about it. If I stayed here, then I would be lonely and miserable. If I went with him, it may prevent a breakdown. I agreed to go with him.

We got dressed, then went downstairs. He seemed happy this morning. Probably that I was going to work with him. On normal days, he would tell me to call him if I needed anything. Or someone's coming over later to check on me. He really cared for me, and he showed he really cared for me. I love him, more than he will ever know.

We headed out the door to his car. I hesitated to get in because every time I get in the car nowadays, it's to go to the doctor. I hated going to the doctor.

Just then I felt a hand on both of my shoulders. "Gerard, it's okay. We're not going to him until next week."

I took a deep breath. "I don't want to go."

"It's in a week."

"No." I backed away from the door, "No, I don't want to go." I started breathing heavily.

"Okay, okay. Calm down. It's okay. Do you want to stay here?"

I nodded. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I said hugging him. "I thought I could handle it."

"No, no. It's okay. I'm not mad at you. You tried. That's good!" He smiled.

I honestly didn't know what to do then. He was going to leave me home for the day. I felt really bad for just quitting but I panicked.

I kissed him.

"I'll see you later, Gee. I'll have Mikey, Bob, and Ray stop by later, okay?"

I nodded. That would be nice.

***

A couple hours later, I was sitting on the couch drawing whatever I could to get my mind off of what happened last night and this morning. I don't know why I couldn't handle getting in the car, I even told myself that I wasn't going to the doctor. Frank even said it. So why was it so hard?

I came back to reality, finding my sketchbook almost falling off my lap. I put it down on the coffee table. I sat back, taking a deep breath and staring at the ceiling.

I heard a knock on the door.

"If you don't answer, they'll go away." My mind said.

"Gee, we know you're there!" I heard my brother say.

I shot up from the couch running to the door. I opened it and pulled Mikey in for a tight hug.

"Uh- Gee!" He said.

He finally hugged back. I pulled away.

"Are you alright?"

I nodded, looking down at my feet. I let them in. I went back to my spot on the couch and looked up at the ceiling again.

"Hey. Frank told us what happened last night." Mikey said.

I moved my eyes to look at him.

"He told us how you screamed and cried. He told us how scared he was for you."

It was quiet for a moment. "D-Does he hate me?" I asked softly.

"No! No, Frank would never hate you. Why would you say that?"

I shrugged. "I always ruin things for him."

"No, Gerard, you don't. He loves you. And he'll be there with you through every night terror, breakdown, bad day, and everything else."

I nodded. I felt tears surface my eyes. "I wish he was here!" I cried.