"Get Me Out Of My Head"

5

*Gerard's P.O.V.*

Ray, Bob, and Mikey left a little while ago. Frank and I were sitting on the couch, he was looking at the TV but I know he was watching me. I was drawing.

He turned off the TV and turned to me. I saw him watching my swift and steadiness of my wrist as I drew. He placed a hand on my knee, drawing small circles over it.

"Gee?" He asked.

"Hmm?"

"Would you like to take a walk with me?"

I looked up at him with an expression that showed exactly how I felt.

"Honey, if you feel anything, any emotion, please tell me. Okay?"

I nodded.

He placed a kiss on my cheek then got up to get pure jackets and shoes.

Honestly, I was scared. What if something happened? What if I accidentally hurt him? I tried to push the thoughts away when I heard him come back.

He handed me my boots and my black leather jacket. I put them on and we left.

Frank grabbed my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze every now and then to let me know that he was there. To be honest, I felt okay. The autumn breeze passed my face and went through my hair, it wasn't too cold.

We turned onto the bridge. We were right in the middle of it, I stopped and looked down at the water below us.

"Baby?" Frank said.

I didn't answer. I was trapped in the thought of what it would feel like to jump and land in the rough waves below.

"Gee, please?"

Still, I didn't answer. My head started to fill up with these thoughts of jumping and dying. The voices in my head were screaming at me to jump.

"Gerard, come back to me!" Frank cupped my face and turned me to face him. "What is it?"

"I- I want to jump."

Frank's expression changed and he pulled me to get away from the edge. "Come on."

We went to the coffee shop right around the corner from the bridge. We ordered 2 coffees then sat at our favorite table.

"What do you mean you want to jump?"

"Y'know, jump- off the bridge."

"Gerard,"

"I'm sorry. I let my thoughts take control."

"No, I don't want you to kill yourself. You are going to have a wonderful life and you're going to be happy."

"When? When do you ever think I'll be happy again?"

"It'll come Gee, trust me."

"I do trust you but-" I felt myself get slightly annoyed.

"It's okay, calm down." Frank told me.

I shot up out of my chair. "IT'S NOT OKAY! QUIT TELLING ME IT IS!" I yelled then stormed out of the coffee shop.

*Frank's P.O.V.*

What did I say?

What did I do?

When he walked out of the shop, I quickly ran after him.

"Gerard, please, stop!" I said, trying to get his attention.

He kept walking.

"Gerard!"

Still kept walking.

I ran in front of him, finally stopping him. "I'm sorry. I pushed you too far." I honestly didn't know what I was apologizing for but-

"I can't do this anymore."

"You're not giving up on me. Promise me right know, you're not going to give it all up. Promise me!" I begged.

"I promise."

I smiled. "Would you like to go home?"

He nodded and we went home.

***

Later that night, we sat down to watch a movie. About half way though it, Gerard started to doze.

"Hey." I said, getting his attention.

He looked up at me.

"If you're tired, we can go to bed?"

He nodded. Slowly lifting himself off the couch, he made his way up the stairs into our room. I followed him.

He took off his pants, putting pajama pants on, then his shirt. He got into bed, I tucked him in, kissing him. He kissed back.

"Good night, Frankie." He whispered before closing his eyes and drifting to sleep.

"Good night, Gee."

I walked to the door, looking back at him. I turned off the light and shut the door behind me.

I know it's best not to leave him alone, but I needed some time to think about a future with him.