"Get Me Out Of My Head"

18

*Frank's P.O.V.*

It had been a week since Gerard first arrived at the hospital. I was a mess, but I never showed it when I was at work or in public.

At home, that was another story. I would get epically depressed and literally fall apart. Without Gerard I was nothing, I had nothing, and living was pointless. I didn't want to live if I had to do it without him.

At work I'd put in more hours, until today that is.

"Alright, Frank. Your shift's over."

"Can I work a little later?"

"Frank, you've been working later all week."

"I know but I just want to."

"You should go home and sleep."

"I don't wanna sleep."

"This is not like you. Usually you're already packed and out of here by now."

"Please Pat, just let me work later."

"I can't. It's Hayley's turn to work late."

"Please?"

"Frank-"

"Please?!"

Patrick looked at me. "Come to my office." I followed him. He shut the door when I came in.

"Frank, what's going on?"

"Nothing. Why would you think something's "going on"?"

"You haven't been yourself for the past week."

I looked down.

"What's up?"

I took a deep breath. "Gerard's in the hospital."

"Why?! What happened?!"

"I don't know. We were in the car last weekend and he passed out. I guess it's more serious than I thought. He hasn't waken up yet." I began to cry.

"Is that why you keep asking for overtime?"

I nodded. "So I can get my mind off of him."

"Frank, why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't want everyone to know."

My phone started ringing in my pocket. I took it out, seeing it was Mikey.

"Hello?"

"Frank, the doctor called. He has some news. Come, get in the car."

"Okay." I hung up and put my phone away.

"Hey listen Pat, I gotta go. Mikey's waiting for me outside."

"Okay. See ya later, Frank."

I walked out to Mikey's car, Ray was there too. I got in and we went to the hospital.

We waited in the waiting room until we heard, "Family of Gerard Way?" We got up and went to the doctor.

"Okay. Gerard is still unconscious. Has he had any mental health issues at all?"

"Breakdowns." I said.

"Oh. Well, that explains a lot."

"What?"

"When he has a breakdown, the aftermath of it- with him- is severely dangerous."

"What do mean?!" I begged him to tell us more.

"I mean, after he has one, and he's calming down, his body can not handle the emotions and it makes his energy level decrease very quickly. That's not good, and it can possibly be his killer. These breakdowns are more severe than what the other doctors you've seen think. They think it's minor, but it's not. These are major and need special attention. He could possibly die from this."

That news hit me like someone just smack me in the face. "He could...... Die?"

"If he's not treated in time."

I began to cry. "You can't let him go flatlined!"

"We'll do what we can. But I'm telling you most people who have these types of breakdowns don't make it."

"He's going to make it!" I yelled, "He has too!"

"Frank, hey." Ray pulled me close to him.

"He's gonna make it." I cried into Ray's chest.

"Can we go see him?" Mikey asked.

"Only for about 15 minutes."

We followed the doctor to Gerard's room. Mikey and Ray stayed outside. Mikey didn't want to see his brother like this. I didn't blame him. I walked in and sat next to his bed, grabbing his hand.

"Hey, darling." I said.

His body laid still.

"God, I miss you so fucking much." I said, "I guess I should tell you the truth. Gerard, I haven't been eating, I haven't been sleeping, I put in for more hours at work to get you off my mind. But I can't, you always come right back to me." I began to cry again, "Darling, if you can hear me, I'm loosing my mind! I need you here! Pull me back up and hold me in your arms! Baby, please wake up for me?! I fucking need you! Please?!" I begged and cried into him.

"Mr. Iero, times up." The doctor said.

I held onto Gerard's lifeless body. Ray and Mikey came in. Mikey was in tears too. Ray picked me up and detached me from Gerard.

"NO!" I screamed, putting my hand out to Gerard. "NO! I NEED HIM!"

"I know, Frank, I know."

"I need him!" I cried again. "No!"

They took me to the car and put me in the back seat. I still screamed and cried and suffered without my love. That was the only thing I kept saying, "I need him!"

Ray had to drive, for the fact that Mikey was in tears and I was balling my eyes out. Mikey had a little more self-control over him then I did.

We pulled up to the house. "Frank?"

I looked at Ray.

"Bob's going to come over soon to check on you, okay?"

I nodded.

Ray took me out of the car so I could go inside.

I heard them leave. I didn't know what to do. I stood in the hall and looked around. I went upstairs and found one of Gerard's favorite shirts and put it on, then I found one of his hoodies and put it on. I walked over to the bed and grabbed his pillow and clung to it.

It's my twisted way of keeping him close. But I don't think I'm the only one who does it.

I walked back down stairs, sitting on the couch, in an extremely quiet house, clinging to my fiancé's pillow. I missed him so much. I needed and wanted him so fucking bad. I found a picture I took of him and spoke to it, "Why did it have to be you?" I set it down on the coffee table, "Out of everyone in the world, IT HAD TO BE YOU!" I screamed.

Just then, I heard a knock on the door. I answered it. It was Bob. I pulled him in for a hug.

"I heard about Gerard. I'm sorry, Frank."

I couldn't answer him without crying, falling to my knees, going psycho.

I pulled away from him

I finally pushed the tears back and said, "It just hurts too much without him."