"Get Me Out Of My Head"

31

*Frank's P.O.V.*

Gerard ran out of the house.

"Gerard?!" I followed him.

He kept running.

"Gerard, come back! Baby please?!"

He wasn't in-control of himself. I needed to catch up to him before something happened to him.

He made a sharp right turn going onto the bridge.

"No. No. NO! GERARD!"

He looked back at me and ran to the middle of the bridge. He stood up I the railing. I quickly ran behind him and grabbed his hand.

"Baby, you don't want to do this."

"Yes I do."

"No, sweetheart, come home with me. Please?" He looked down at the water. "Gerard, listen to me, I need you. Remember our promises? Remember us? Remember we're gonna get married? Do you want that to go away? 'Cause they will if you jump." He took a shaky breath in. "Darling, I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted you to leave. I only want you. Please come home with me? Gerard, you're not crazy, you're not dangerous, you deserve love. And you have mine. Please, don't do this?!"

It took a couple minutes for him to realize what was happening. And when he did, he practically fell backwards. I caught him, he had tears in his eyes, his breathing was heavy, and he could hardly stand on his own.

I had to call Mikey and Ray to have them come pick us up because he was so weak and I was too shaken up to guide him.

Mikey and Ray came to pick us up, we went to their apartment. Gerard and I laid on the foldable bed. He cuddled into my chest.

"I was gonna kill myself. I knew I was, but I just couldn't stop."

My fingers stroked through his hair, in an attempt to calm him down. "I know, darling, I know. That's why I did what I could to stop you."

"I don't know what happens to me. I knew you believed me but my mind didn't. I felt myself falling apart again, and when I did I thought you'd be better off without me. So I felt. I can't stand being me anymore. I hate it. I can't handle it." He spoke.

"I'll love you, no matter what's happening to you."

"Will you help me, even if you can't?"

"I will."

He rested his head on my chest, falling asleep in seconds.

I stayed awake. I thought of everything Gerard has been through. I thought about everything I've seen with him. How close to death he constantly is due to his breakdowns. I then remembered I needed to talk to Dr. Catalina alone, without Gee there. I needed to know where exactly he was headed with these breakdowns and how they'll treat him later in life. I hate seeing him all fucked up like this, but we as people need to do what we can to survive. But I will never let Gerard kill himself, even if it was the only thing to make him happy. I refused. I couldn't let that happen to him. If Gerard died, so did I. It was just the way Gee and I planned our lives. He needed me and I needed him. I would never leave him, especially with him like this. It would just be wrong of me to.

Once Gerard turned into his side, I got up and went to talk to Mikey. It was 3:45 am, but I needed to talk to him.

"Mikey?" I shake him awake.

"Hmm?"

"I need to talk to you."

"Now?"

"It's about Gee."