"Get Me Out Of My Head"

9

*Frank's P.O.V.*

The next few days were not the best. Nothing happened, but they weren't happy. Gerard wasn't happy.

Today was the day to go back to the doctor, Gerard refused to go.

"Darling, do it for me." I spoke to him.

To that, he couldn't refuse.

We got dressed and got in the car. Gerard looked miserably out the window.

"Baby, I'll be with you. You won't be alone."

He didn't speak or attempt to look at me. He was not happy with what was happening to him. I could tell he was frustrated with me for making him go to the doctor again. I tend to ignore that, it happens every time.

We got out of the car and went into the building.

"Ah, Frank, Gerard! It's wonderful to see you again!"

I smiled at the doctor then looked at Gerard, who stared at the floor.

We went into his office and sat down in front of his desk.

"So, Gerard," He said, "how are you?"

Gee's eyes moved to the doctor, then back down.

The doctor, Dr. Smith, looked at me.

"Uh, he's," Gerard looked at me, "not that good."

"No? What's happened?"

"A couple breakdowns, he's depressed, he's hardly talking, he doesn't eat."

"Hmm. What about his sleeping? Is he sleeping well? Any nightmares? Night tremors?"

"Terrors. They're- They're these terrors. And it's like, it feels like someone's gripping my throat, and squeezing." Gerard spoke.

Dr. Smith wrote something down then turned back to Gerard. "Tell me more about these terrors."

Gee toke a deep breath then spoke again. "Sometimes, I see flames and sometimes I see people that I love dying. And- just-" He stopped.

I grabbed his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

He must've took that as a sign to keep going. "I can't- I can't even wake up."

Dr. Smith looked at Gerard, thinking. "Well, for that, those terrors, I can proscribe sleeping pills."

"No." I said, "I don't want him on pills."

"It's the only way these dreams will go away."

"I said no. He doesn't do good with pills."

Dr. Smith and I disagree on the pills all the fucking time. He wants Gee on them, I don't. Gee's last doctor tried to give him pills when I wasn't there one time. We left that doctor in a heart beat. That, and he tried to kill himself with pills before. I had to force him to spit them out and not swallow them.

"Okay."

Silence.

"So, Mr. Iero, what would you like him to take?"

"Nothing. He's not good with meds."

Gerard turned to me whispering, "Frank, I think we should try it."

"I don't want them to medicate your life." I whispered back.

"I know, me neither. But I think we should try."

I took a breath and turned back to Dr. Smith. "Okay. We'll do the sleeping pills." I wasn't thrilled with this choice. I know what happens to him when he's on meds. And I know it'll happen this time and scare me more than half way to death.

Dr. Smith handed me the pill box along with the proscription. "Have him take 2 pills every night for the next month. That will be our next meeting, okay?"

A month? There's no fucking way. I just nodded.

We left Dr. Smith's office and walked back to the car. We got in and drove home.

We got into the house, Gerard went to the living room. I went to the kitchen, putting the box of sleeping pills on the counter. I looked at them. Why did he want to try these stupid things?

I thought about everything. And I ended up crumbling on the inside. My eyes filled up with tears, I didn't want them to fall out. But they did, and I every chain on me broke.

*Gerard's P.O.V.*

I was sitting in the living room alone, looking at the ceiling and thinking. I knew these pills wouldn't work but I had to try. Frank didn't like the idea, I hated it too.

My train of thought broke when I heard a bang on the kitchen counter. I went into the kitchen to see what it was. I saw Frank leaning over the counter, he was crying.

I went up to him. "Frank? Hey, what's wrong?"

He picked up the box of pills and held them in front of me.

"These!" He yelled, "You KNOW you don't do well with them! YOU KNOW! So why the FUCK would you try them?!"

"I only said to because he would keep bringing it up if I didn't." I told him.

Frank literally threw himself at me, hugging me. "This is going to hurt us!" He cried.

I pulled him in close. "I know, baby, I know."

"The last time you were on sleeping pills you couldn't wake up until the dreams ended. I don't want that to happen again!" He sobbed.

To be honest, I didn't know what to do. I had to take them, and I had to do it for a month. An ENTIRE month. I knew Frank couldn't handle this.

The last time I was on them, I would scream, talk, yell, and hit things in my sleep. One time, I swore I almost hurt Frank. That's when I got off them.

***

That night, Frank and I went to the kitchen. He filled a glass of water and handed me 2 pills. His facial expression was still the same as when we were in Dr. Smith's office earlier.

"I'm sorry, Frank." I said before I put the pills in my mouth and swallowed them with the water.