Colby's p.o.v
(Y/n) passed out instantly and I just stayed up longer. I couldn't really sleep, my minds wondering too much. But I'm filming a video with Sam and I'm going to be in a pissy mood if I don't sleep but I can't, Ughhh why? I sat up slowly making sure not to wake her up and got up and went out to the living room and out on the balcony. I ran my fingers through my hair looking up at the sky. I yawned as I sat down. Of course as soon as I come out here I get tired, thanks body for hating me. I sighed closing my eyes feeling the slight breeze. I'm going to be honest, I want to cry. I just want to break down now so (y/n) doesn't see me like this. I've been keeping so much shit inside..I just don't know how to talk about it to other people, even Sam. He doesn't know about how I was months ago, no one noticed that I was slowly falling apart... I wish I could open up to the people I trust..I can only talk to (y/n) about certain things...I mean it's better that she knew out of everyone.. I just feel the urge to hurt myself. I hate it, I don't get why I want to anyways. I'm happy, I'm really fucking happy. I couldn't ask for anything better, my life is pretty great and I just don't understand why deep down I just want to die still. I don't know why I'm getting hit with it so hard right now... *time skip*
About after a half an hour I went back inside after my little mental breakdown. I just need to get some sleep. I went back into our room and laid back down gently trying not to wake (y/n) up. I scooted over to her wrapping my arm around her waist pulling her closer so her back up against my chest. I kissed her neck softly nuzzling my face into it and closing my eyes. *time skip*
I was woke up by (y/n) squishing my face over and over again. "Morning Colby" she smiled squeezing my face again. "Morning" I couldn't help but smile wrapping my arms around her and pulling her into a hug. She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed my cheek. "I'm so tired" she yawned. "Same" I rubbed her back slowly and closed my eyes again and passed out again. *time skip again*
I woke up again, (y/n) wasn't there. Aw where'd she go? I sat up and stretched and went out to the living room. "Babe?" I asked. No answer. "Huh.." I said. Scraps his laying on the couch so she didn't take him out, then I noticed the note on the fridge.
Hi Babe, we're out of milk so I stole your car to get some groceries. I shouldn't be gone that long, love you <3
~(Y/n)
I yawned and went and sat on the couch next to Scraps. "Hi buddy" I smiled rubbing the back of his ear. He yawned and stretched, he's just as tired as me. "I feel you" I said petting his head. This is my child, I love him.
(Y/n)s p.o.v
I got more cereal and milk, yay. I got the bags and made my way up to our apartment. Believe it or not, I used thr stairs. Woah be proud of my fat ass. I like ran into Jake and Reggie, they almost stole my cereal but I bitch slapped Reggie's hand away before he could take my bags. I'm such a great friend right? Totally. I smiled opening the door. "I'm back babe" I said putting the bags on the counter even though he's probably still asleep. "Yay!" He said walking out of our room. "Yay you're up" I smiled as he hugged me. "Yeah" he chuckled "when did you leave?" He asked. "Like half an hour ago" I said. "Jake and Reggie tried to steal our cereal when I was coming up" I chuckled. "How dare they" he said. *time skip*
"So uh babe... I need to talk to you" he said coming back from our room. "Okay.." I said as he sat next to me. "It's nothing bad...well, that's a lie.. But I just I've been keeping a lot of things from everyone and you're the only one who knows about this" he said. "I thought you said you weren't thinking about that anymore.." "I don't try to.. It just happends. Last night when you were sleeping I-" "Please don't tell me you did anything" I cut him off. "No, I didn't. But Last night I kinda just broke down. For some reason I have the urge too do that again" "Why didn't you wake me up?... This is serious Colbs" "I know baby.." He sighed. "I just..I didn't want you to see me like that. It's just hard to open up to people with this, no one else knows about what I've done except for you and... I just don't want to talk about it, but I'm forcing myself to because I just don't understand why I'm feeling this way again.." He said. "I'll never be able to understand either.. But I just don't want you to keep this from me and I don't want you to hurt yourself in anyway. I need you too tell me the next time you feel this way, I don't want to lose you Colbs. I really can't imagine you not being here and I don't want to" I said. "I will, I promised you that wouldn't do it again and I'm keeping it. I have no point in doing it now" "You shouldn't have done it to begin with.. But it's my fault I'm sorry.." "Please don't say it is because It's not, it's my fault not yours" he said. "It's not really your fault either..we all have our ups and downs in life..and shit just happens..you shouldn't blame yourself for that" "You're right. I just can't help but think that it is my fault because I gave in.." He sighed running his hand through his hair. "It's not, trust me" "yeah" he smiled a little. "C'mere" I smiled getting up and sitting on his lap and hugging him. He hugged me back and kissed my head. "I love you" I said. "I love you too" he smiled as I kissed his cheek. "You make me so happy" he kissed me. "You make me so happy too" I smiled.
~Taylor signing off 👻
